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Hmmm I’m not sure I agree. As a gay man living in South Dakota, I’ve found my online communities to be far less problematic and far more helpful than those I interact with in real life on a regular basis, and I’d include my experiences with credentialed therapists and addiction recovery groups in that assessment.
Real-life therapists aren’t any better.
Most mental health problems, I suspect, are the result of socioeconomic problems like price gouging and wage stagnation. Spending your whole life struggling to just barely avoid homelessness is not good for the mind. Neither is working for a boss who treats you like a slave, and let’s face it, that’s exactly what you are. No amount of talk or pills will fix that.
I agree that this is much of the problem. Capitalism is designed to break anyone who’s not part of the bourgeoisie.
But without going into detail (because things took a bad turn last time I did here), I’ve got some exacerbating circumstances beyond that (which admittedly is still related to capitalism since all help is behind some pretty high paywalls).
Honestly, I think part of it is that having an entire community of people suffering depressive symptoms becomes a depressing environment.
I’m sure I heard this in a Brene Brown video, but in order to be able to help someone else, you need to be in the right place yourself. Two empty glasses can’t help fill each other. And most people can’t help an entire community of struggling people, one glass can’t help fill fifty, it’s futile and self damaging to try. It’s why we have professionals that do one on one therapy.
And, this might be unpopular, but I think historically this is why we have priests too. I’m not religious, but I think that community offers that to some people.
Sometimes people need to vent, and some people aren’t lucky enough to be in a position where they can vent to anybody, but I don’t know if diving into a community where you expose yourself to everyone else’s problems too is the solution. Things like addictions counseling are controlled, with professionals at the helm, and often in small spaces, with a prescribed meeting time and an end.
I see what you’re saying, and that’s actually one of the things that inspired this post. I say this in the most endearing way possible, but your first statement describes all of the discord servers I’m in tbh. There are a lot of people hurting, and a major shortage of resources to cope, especially for those who are unemployed or on the lower end of the income scale. I’ve even opened my inbox and ears, but like you said, I’m certainly in no position to give help beyond actively listening and being present.
I know it can be hard to find for sure, but there is a lot of online mental health support available. I’m not sure about actual free forum communities, but that might be becuase of privacy issues or the difficulty of both moderating and providing safe healthy advice.
But there are online options for therapy. Some of it is free, but most requires a fee - although there are often sliding scale options (when councelors offer lower fees if cost is an issue, there’s more who offer this than you’d think.) Finding help remotely is the way to go, it’s both more affordable and you can take the time to find someone who is right for you. I use an online therapist, she lives a few hours away and it took a few attempts to find the right fit, but it’s worth it.
There is 7 cups - they offer a lot of options. They provide just someone to talk to (volunteers, it’s free) as well as affordable options for counceling. https://www.7cups.com/
I’d also recommend Psychology Today, which lets you search for therapists both locally and online. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
I used Psychology Today to find my therapist (there’s a Canadian version of the site) The have profiles and contact info for many, MANY therapists and psychologists, all accredited and professional. Most will be happy to tell you their rates, or offer either a free or very low cost introductory session (to see if you are the right fit)
There are also some free, self-directed therapy options in the form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. A lot of it can be done yourself, as it involves worksheets and exercises. It’s actually very effective despite sounding maybe like busy work? Hehe - I’ve also had success using CBT, both with therapists and using self-directed workbooks.
Here is a good introduction, very thorough and with links for further reading: https://positivepsychology.com/cbt-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-worksheets/
The main website here also provides some good, free resources and articles by certified councelors. https://positivepsychology.com/
Thank you very much for the resources. It’s interesting searching in that second link you provided because there are some therapists listed in my community, but neither of the two who I saw.
It gets discouraging not having much money, but I’ll try that 7cups free service first and see if I like it.
Thanks!
Great!! I hope it helps. :) I highly recommend looking into CBT as well, it’s not for everyone, but there’s a lot of CBT exercises you can do on your own (also free)
Thanks, I’ve set up my 7cups account. I see there is a $7.99/month tier that doesn’t include therapy, but has a lot more resources than basic. I think I’ll try it to get a feel for the community. I could probably manage $150/month if I budget correctly, and that’s a lot of therapy for the price vs. most counseling services irl.
