Every Time My Son Sees a Particular Fox in the Neighborhood, He Gives a Devious Smile. I Know What He’s Up To. This needs to stop.

Edit updated with link

6 points

join him

permalink
report
reply
5 points

You gotta attack from two angles here. For the wildlife, you can spread scent-based deterrants around like linseed or cotton oil, or a salt circle, or a bunch of piss. Try to puff yourself up really large and make as much noise as you can while cursing the local spirits and gods in dire hubris that you claim this land as your own. Get good at animal calls and beatbox that shit back to them louder. Just really mog the shit outta the genius loci and make any fae feel like the property values are falling.

For your son, sit down and talk to them about the dangers of rabies and beastwiles. Consider getting them individual therapy and a piece of cold-wrought iron to carry around. Make sure they know how to reliably and safely operate a gun, and understand the basics of electroplating.

permalink
report
reply

permalink
report
reply
4 points

It’s too late. He’s the forest’s son now.

permalink
report
reply
3 points

Honestly the son sounds somewhat based, even if his methods are suboptimal.

permalink
report
reply