‘Flying aliens’ harassing village in Peru are actually illegal miners with jetpacks, cops say::Authorities announced their theory after visiting the isolated Indigenous community where the attacks took place.

83 points

What.

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53 points
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it’s 2023, and… yeah… this story sounds like bad sci-fi, so it’s probably true. I’d read he article, but I’m afraid I’d see the word “unobtainum” and throw my phone across the room.

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Nah just gold.

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4 points
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Let’s compromise and have AUstralium

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0 points

No it sounds like scooby doo

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74 points

I never thought I’d say that I think aliens are more plausible than illegal miners with jetpacks, but uh… I actually think aliens might be more plausible than miners with jetpacks. I mean, there have to be more reasonable explanations than aliens or jetpacks, right?

“Miners with jetpacks” feels like something someone would say if they don’t give a shit but are being forced into making a report. I just can’t see a bunch of people who’re mining gold illegally as being capable of rigging together jetpacks, nor can I see them having the money to buy one. Surely if they had the money to buy one then they could have bribed the right officials to make their illegal operations legal; and if they had the skills to make one themselves then I don’t think they’d need to be illegally mining for gold.

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51 points

Read the article right to the end. And think about why illegal miners might want to drive the locals away. And what illegal mining is. The people funding it are not poor and they do have a great deal to gain by not having witnesses around to report on their activities, or to stop them mining their land.

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35 points

That’s some Scooby-Doo level shit

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9 points
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6 points

Yeah, sorry. It was deffo aliens. My bad.

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17 points

Sounds like something an alien would say to throw us off.

Nice try, Little Green Lemming. We’re on to you.

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6 points

Where do I sign up for who’re mining?

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4 points

More plausible than miners with jetpacks, but less plausible than over-imaginative people in a self-fueled rumor frenzy.

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56 points

That raises even more questions.

What type of jetpack is it? What sort of fuel does it use? Who made it?

Why would miners need jetpacks? Why can’t I have a jetpack? They promised me flying cars and we don’t have them yet it’s bullshit.

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22 points
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6 points

I’m pretty sure you can get a jetpack nowadays if you have enough money. I have no idea if it’s legal to use it though.

Also flying cars is a stupid concept. And we have had the better equivalent for ages, they are called helicopters. And you can also get an actual flying car nowadays if you have enough money…

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28 points

That title is killing me 🤣 I don’t even want to read the article. All i can think of is either underage kids in jetpacks (assuming this one) or literal adult miners with pickaxes in their hands flying around. This is hilarious.

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6 points

It’s a Deep Rock Galactic Experience secret beta trial.

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21 points

I thought we hadn’t figured out a reliable jet pack technology yet other than those stupid water things. Are you telling me Peruvian miners have figured out jet pack technology and are using it to prank villagers?

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7 points

from another comment:

https://gravity.co/

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4 points

That thing looks amazing, but also like, one poorly thought out move/ maneuver away frame plasma slicing off your leg.

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4 points

at least it would be a cool story ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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