You know the type, probably a good father or worker, but serious faced all the time, never smiles, often in a bad mood, very cynical. It’s just I feel like I’m on the path to this, I’m 28, just escaped 12 years of food service so I’m already super cynical and if someone comes up to me, I’m super ready to shut down whatever’s about to happen. I feel like working with customers for years I’ve learned to have giant walls up and I can’t seem to remove them. I see the other guys in the factory I’m working at laughing and joking all the time, I think of myself as funny but it’s always deadpan humor and I wish I could genuinely smile and laugh and make friends with the other guys. Any old timers or well travelers out there have any advice?
My advice? Sounds like you could use some therapy. Genuinely therapy is really helpful for sorting out these issues.
You sound like you may be dealing with more than just burn out. Of course im not a medical professional and i dont know you well enough to really make any fair assessment but just talking things out with someone would likely be beneficial.
If you can’t afford therapy, talking things out with a friend may help as well but as they wont be trained to deal with this, it may or may not be helpful. It can help but its not a replacement for professional help unfortunately. I speak from experience but ymmv.
I worked in CS so i know it sucks. I hope things get better for you.
I’ve got no qualms against going back to therapy, it’s been some years. Only thing is I’ll have to wait till November when I can get on my works insurance plan
Practicing what I call Micro Pleasantries helps me feel good about life. Can be as simple as complimenting someone on their awesome new shoes or giving up your seat on the bus (or allowing someone to merge) It makes me feel better and hopefully makes someone feel better , too.
I’m not sure how much I can help except to reassure you that your personality does not have to be a straight line into “grumpy old man”.
When I was your age, I was also pessimistic, sarcastic, cynical, with deadpan humor. I probably wasn’t a fun person to be around. Now that i’m twice your age, i’m optimistic, positive, pleasant and friendly, and love goofy humor and Dad Jokes. My politics have skewed way left, and I regularly try to interject some hope into discussions with disillusioned young adults. Don’t worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
My best guess for why I changed, was having kids. Some of it was to light up the path of their lives, some of it was seeing the light through their eyes, but I think it was mostly joining them. I first saw the light at a cabin in the Adirondacks when I snuck out early before anyone was up so I could feed my newborn his first bottle at the top of the nearby mountain. I could look around, do the Lion King thing to proclaim the world as his. But it got better as he got older and I rediscovered my inner child and the simple joy of playing. Now he’s the serious kid going into college worrying about his future, the environment, etc, and I’m the goofball making him laugh, showing hope and optimism about the future, letting him know every little thing is gonna be alright l
Well, self awareness goes a long way, so you’re on the right path. Lots of people get crotchety and cynical by focusing too much on things that are outside their control. Focus more on areas of your life that you can influence, and learn to enjoy your life for what it is rather than what it could be.
Honestly, if you’re the type of person who’s prone to this, disengaging from hyper cynical social media platforms (yes, including Lemmy) is probably another good idea.
My dad used to be super into politics and consumed rage-bait news on TV and social media a lot, especially during the height of covid. Once he unplugged from all of that there was a noticeable shift in his demeanor and I would say that he’s significantly happier and more content now.
Don’t worry about it, accept it as a stage of life and do it with style. Start cataloging a lot of zingers aimed at young people being foolish and practice your delivery of the word “dumbass” so that it can be used to end most sentences.
Indeed. Would that we could all aspire to “The 70s Show” ideal crotchety old man.
