How insecure can you be? Everyone was ordering beers but I didn’t feel like drinken, so I ordered tea. I guess my masculinity is in shambles right now.

Guys, drink whatever you want.

24 points

If you ever just want to skip a potential interaction, tell them you’re the designated driver. You also might get your nonalcoholic beverage of choice on the house.

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17 points

“ah where’s the rest of your group?”

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24 points

You can also simply say, “I have to drive.” Assuming you drove yourself. I rarely drink, so I use that one a lot as well.

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3 points

“I’m driving your mom and might get lucky. “

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11 points

I mostly just shrug it off. Laugh all you want, it’s not hurting me.

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13 points

I didn’t know they served mint tea at bars.

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15 points

Really? I think every bar I know of here has tea.

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12 points

Hey we can’t all be like Belgium alright ; ___ :

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12 points

I order whatever drink I want, too, including non alcoholic drinks like tea. Sometimes a hot chocolate. One thing that pisses me right off is having to wait for it. I’m patient. So I don’t mind waiting for it. But when I’m left waiting because I’ve ordered a non-alcoholic not-Diet Coke … 😡. It happens all the time. People who order after me will take priority if they order an alcoholic drink. Sometimes I’ve seen the barkeep actively look for someone else to serve rather than make my drink when I ask for it. It arrives eventually.

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53 points

Real men forge their own path, never caring what those around them think.

“Ok, one mint tea please”

No not like that

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34 points
*

For real. I’m 6’2 and work out 4 times a week. Even then some guys think you’re not men enough if you don’t tick all their silly boxes.ust be a miserable life.

Edit: not that I think those measurements are manly either. The only qualification for being manly is identifying as one.

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19 points
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Stuff like what you’ve posted about others expectations and their arbitrary boxes really exemplifies how people use gender roles to seek some sort of self validation. It’s funny how if you ask someone who cares deeply about their male identity what being a “man” is, it always conveniently aligns exactly with themselves, no need for self adjustment

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1 point
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1 point
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4 points
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9 points

Real men people forge their own path, never caring what those around them think.

“Ok, one mint tea please”

No not like that

FTFY

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18 points

Sure, sorry if the tone wasn’t clear on my original post, it was made mocking people who think like that, people like the ones laughing at the tea in the first place. I personally have no interest in prescriptive gender or personhood definitions

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8 points

probably could just make it clearer like this:

Reactionary: Real men forge their own path, never caring what those around them think.

Me: Ok, one mint tea please

Reactionary:: No not like that

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10 points

I think you broke it rather than fixed it

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1 point
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8 points

stay safe if you’re getting crossed like that comrade!

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2 points

I literally cannot drink without some weed also. Its the drink he needs to be worried about.

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23 points

“Id like a rum and coke without the rum, thanks” - Me who is allergic to alcohol.

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Men's Liberation: Resisting Patriarchy

!menslib@lemmygrad.ml

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“…only a feminist vision that embraces feminist masculinity, that loves boys and men and demands on their behalf every right that we desire for girls and women, can renew men in our society. Feminist thinking teaches us all, males especially, how to love justice and freedom in ways that foster and affirm life. Clearly we need new strategies, new theories, guides that will show us how to create a world where feminist masculinity thrives.” - bell hooks, The Will to Change

Welcome to our community dedicated to fostering discussions on the complexities of contemporary masculinity within the context of the prevailing patriarchy. This space is designed to empower men and men-aligned individuals to explore, challenge, and navigate the various facets of masculinity that they encounter. Here, we encourage open dialogue, where members can share their personal struggles, seek and offer guidance, and exchange insights on cultivating positive and productive approaches to masculinity.

RULES AND GUIDELINES

  1. Respect and inclusivity: Treat all community members with respect, kindness, and empathy. Embrace diversity and promote an inclusive environment where everyone’s voice is heard and valued.

  2. No sexism or misogyny: Refrain from engaging in or promoting any form of sexism, misogyny, or discriminatory behavior. This community is committed to challenging and dismantling patriarchal norms. This includes “support” for sex work, the pornography industry, and any systems of oppression that mainly serve to harm our sisters in struggle. Porn addiction is an epidemic, however, and we support comrades being open and honest about their experiences with it.

  3. Constructive discussions: Encourage thoughtful and constructive discussions. Engage in active listening and consider different perspectives. Disagreements are welcome, but maintain a respectful and civil tone.

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  5. Trigger warnings and content warnings: Use trigger warnings (TW) or content warnings (CW) when discussing sensitive topics to create a safe space for all members. Respect others’ boundaries and be mindful of potentially triggering content. If asked to place a trigger warning, it is probably time to place one.

  6. No promoting or glorifying violence: Do not promote or glorify violence, including threats or acts of physical, emotional, or psychological harm. Encourage non-violent and compassionate approaches to conflict resolution when possible.

  7. Relevant and meaningful content: Share content that is relevant to the community’s focus on feminist masculinity. Posts should contribute to meaningful discussions, provide insights, resources, or personal experiences that align with the community’s goals.

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  9. Moderation and enforcement: Follow the instructions of the community moderators and respect their decisions. If you have concerns about moderation or the community rules, reach out to the moderators privately.

  10. Have fun and grow together: This community is a space for personal growth, support, and learning. Embrace a positive and constructive mindset, and aim to create an environment where individuals can thrive and develop a healthier understanding of masculinity.

for transparency: this list of rules is subject to change and a language model was consulted to make it easier to parse through.

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