I really do like KBin and Lemmy and the fediverse on the whole, but development is still young and the userbase still growing. KBin is still basically early access, and Lemmy is buggy. I spent alot of time in reddit and I’m feeling the pain of trying to ween myself from it. Just wanted to here community perspectives and see how other’s are taking it.

For me, I feel a bit of a sore hollow spot for what reddit used to be and watching it implode is not fun for me.

161 points

Reddit was something unique and personal to each user. Some it was new, some it was the only place to find specific tech or other advice that wasn’t corrupted by ads and algorithms on goggle and other big corporations.
Reddit was my way of disengaging from world news before I knew about anxiety, and how things could affect me and become personal even though I had no way to help world events. So I used it to personalize my mental diet, if I was creative I could sub to many craft subs like leather or metal etc, it’s where I went to get other perspectives on movies and content that I didn’t fully understand.
End of the day, is all that possible still on Reddit, kinda, but it’s going away, and they pushed me personally to leave as I could see it was becoming google/Facebook, ad algorithms to push what people pay for or get paid for. So time to reset.
Become involved, I’m way more involved and adding to discussions on the new sites I’m on. Everyone adding comments and posts and perspectives and opinions are building this up from bottom up.
You are the future, make your perspective part of the future by helping guide these new sites to something we can be proud of.

permalink
report
reply
35 points

@Bendersmember

@Hondolor

I’m upvoting your comment because you bring up great points, but I personally disagree with the disengaging from world events aspect. I’ll miss the niche subreddits that helped you solve the most random of issues, but I think reddit was far from a great place to disengage from news and the political discourse brought by news. Ever since the 2016 election cycle, I personally saw a considerable increase of posts regarding politics that came from both established subreddits and new ones that popped up (like /r/enoughtrumpspam which simply added more spam to the pile).

I think Trump’s campaign and presidency really ignited a lot of this, and while I neither like nor support Trump, I miss when the biggest disruptions were from isolated events (like the Occupy Wall Street movement or the Ellen Pao fiasco) rather than 4 years of a presidential tenure.

After years of nonsense, it all just got tiring. You can curate your reddit experience, but what happens when all the political doom scrolling finds its way into your favorite subreddits?

Kbin and the rest of the fediverse will grow, and I’m aware that the same kind of posting will find its way here, too. Thankfully the fediverse lets you subscribe to multiple communities of the same name, so maybe /m/news isn’t up one’s alley but /c/news is, for example.

I didn’t realize how shit reddit was getting until I stopped using it. The constant barrage of political shit accompanied by low effort comments/puns did a number on my happiness. I stopped using Facebook for similar reasons.

I’m glad you’re also adopting the mindset of being an active contributor. For years I also just would scroll and seldom upvote, but if we want to make “this house a home”, we need to put in the effort ourselves! I look forward to seeing how this all plays out. So far, I am very optimistic. I hope you find your niche interested here sooner than later!

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points
*

Some of it was also political activists or people paid to actively work to sway opinion on social media.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

“Some” is a huge understatement.

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

After years of nonsense, it all just got tiring. You can curate your reddit experience, but what happens when all the political doom scrolling finds its way into your favorite subreddits?

I’m not much into US politics, but you know, this reminds me of why I started disengaging from my own country subreddit. At the start it was mostly about the people and the community, and I liked talking to people and hearing their problems. I was hosting regular get-togethers and eventually became a mod. As Reddit got more mainstreatm, the anti-government political people started coming in and well, I don’t want to be hearing about moaning all the time. These people also had a terrible persucation complex (not helped by my country’s history of surpressing opposition views), so any attempt to moderate these people when their posts and comments got excessive and off-topic was met with fierce pushback. I just wanted a more positive place for people, instead of endless political bickering.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points
*

Until I got to the part about your country’s history of suppressing opposition, I thought you were talking about my country’s subreddit!

We went through the exact same trajectory from being a small friendly place with meetups, getting bigger, becoming negative and political arguments all the time. In the end I stopped dropping in there at all.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

I always stuck with front page and never was on popular or all, I feel that was my saving grace. Also reposts and crossposted content drove me batty, so overtime unsubbed from groups that got political or negative. I wasn’t subbing to just kitty cat pictures, more so hobbies, movies, and specific YouTubers like rlm etc. That’s why I mentioned that everyone’s experience was different, just a few different subs and the whole experience is different.

I’m in a demographic that people actively try to push and radicalize as well, so even if I am frustrated with things and how they affect me, I always keep one foot out and try to be super aware of that. I feel some, not all obviously get caught up over time and it erodes who they are and normalizes some really crazy things. So when I realize something like American politics is affecting me and my day, as a Canadian, I step back and look at what I’m letting into my mental diet.

End of day I hope we all learn from the past and can improve on what worked and avoid what didn’t. There’s no reason to not learn from the past and try to grow in a positive way.

permalink
report
parent
reply
19 points
*

Well said @Bendermember

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

While I feel a bit nostalgic to leave Reddit behind, I recently realised it had become stale for me. Time to move on.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Absolutely this. It got very homogenized. I joined reddit for the variety of people and their ability to understand topics I’d like to understand better. Then it all turned to bots and reposts. Then I would unsub from one subreddit and migrate to the new sub that was similar to the sub I just abandoned until the new sub became infested with bots and reposts, then rinse and repeat.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

This is a great answer.

I feel like I can do away with the doomscrolling and time-wasting, but it’s the specific advice and hobby subs that will be difficult to tear away from completely.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

I’m also going to have trouble avoiding my city’s local subreddit. It’s definitely a hub for everything going on here, and I’ve made some real life friends on there who I plan on keeping up with.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

What I liked about reddit was its “googleability”. You had a question and found an answer without reading through an endless article that winds it’s way through rephrasing your question 5 times, adds extensive biographies of everyone mentioned, the wider history of the problem and the author’s grandmother, all to pad the article and have you scroll through more adds.

But now there’s ChatGPT, so most of my “googling” can be done that way, and I don’t have to scroll through walls of puns or “this is the way” or “thanks for the gold, kind stranger”, or “take my updoot and get out”. I wonder how much of that bullshit were bots, anyway.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

First thing I did when I got chat got was use it as a search engine, it’s not perfect, but google should wake up, when something is better at its own game accidentally, imagine what’s possible if they don’t fix their algorithm

permalink
report
parent
reply
55 points

The whole social media collapse has been crushing for a recluse like myself. I mean, I might as well come out straight and say that. I’m not tactile and I don’t socialize, so the internet is my main source of communication with the outside world. I’m guaranteed to find people who share my interests, people who “get” me, people who don’t act like I came from Venus when I finally open up to them. When that all folds in on itself, or mutates into something that would make the monstrous works of HR Giger look like HR Puffnstuff, yeah, it’s kind of painful. Like living through your own digital 9/11. That sounds dramatic, and I mean it to be, but yes, losing social networks that were trusted sources of discussion has been like a sledgehammer to my mental health.

TMI, sorry. I do leave my house when needed, but it’s more business than pleasure. (There’s very little pleasure involved.)

permalink
report
reply
11 points

I hear you. I spent most of fmy social time as a teenager in those new-fangled chat rooms in the mid-late nineties and I don’t think I ever really learned to socialize properly in person. Lol. That said, I don’t find the newness of this platform too daunting. I was one of the people who left Digg back in the day too.

I do miss my May 2023 baby bumps group now that I’m on maternity leave and have a lot of down time feeding the little one though. It’s not like it’s easy for me to leave the house with a toddler and a newborn even if I was to join a real life parenting social group.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

Taking my daughter to organised play groups several times per week was forced upon me due to needing access to the community nurses who attended, as she needed constant monitoring of a birth condition. However, I’m incredibly glad I went, and continued to do so long after the condition ceased to need such close attention.

I made friends with several other parents, our children bonded and made their first friendships and learnt the basics of social interaction. The shared learning and support we were able to offer each other smoothed over countless daily needs and little fears. Sure, these friendships didn’t all sustain themselves long past our kids starting at their various different schools, but by that stage they had already learned so much that I could tell apart many of the children who had benefited from a similar experience and those who hadn’t.

I say all this simply to encourage you to try these sorts of groups. You might not make friends who last forever, you might not meet people exactly to your liking, but that’s life and it’s a valuable experience for the kids for that very reason. People are never more welcoming and friendly than when you have young children and need some companionship, we’re all in that same exact boat.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

go to an AFK group. you can’t do it once in the next 3 weeks?

half the people there (infants) def have less social skills than you.

unless you find the “platform” of baby group to be too daunting for you.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Hey, I know what you mean. As a teen I spent a huge amount of time on the local BBS scene, before moving on to the Usenet groups, IRC, and then various forums.

I’d say don’t despair. Interest groups will find a way to congregate somehow. We did fine socialising online before garguntan social media networks, and we will continue to do so without them. There’ll be a dip in the near-future, but others will come to take the place of these social networks. They may not be huge and all-encompassing, but maybe that’s what we really need: Smaller communities tailored to more specific needs and wants.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

@ArugulaZ I feel you. I was at home on some Reddit communities, and it feels like I’ve lost a home and the people who were in it.

@Hondolor

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

You’ll find a community somewhere again. Just hold out, buddy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
50 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
reply
17 points

I found similar when I left my country of birth, that many people don’t keep in touch, even if I tried to maintain a connection. Out of sight, out of mind.

What did you bond over with your friends?

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

It’s a common thing for people who move (country) as kids. Sociological term is Third Culture Kid.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Third Culture Kid

Wow just knowing that it’s so common an experience that there’s a name for it is comforting.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*

That sounds nice. Similarly I’ve been in a book club for about two years now that was started on Reddit.

Although we haven’t read a book in months, we still meet virtually every week, so I guess we’re just friends now.

The ultimate test of these kinds of groups seems to be whether they can survive transplantation from one social medium to another. I wonder how my little book club would fare if there was a schism over using discord…

Maybe there is a board here that would help you set up something like that? It can’t hurt to look around and put out some feelers.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

They have my email but none of them have reached out.

I’m going to ask the obvious- have you reached out to them?

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

For as good a tip as that is, and @NumbersCanBeFun should definitely try it if they haven’t (or can), it doesn’t always work.

I did the whole reaching out thing for years for those I knew from Uni, and for almost all of them I was the only one reaching out. It felt tiring holding up a relationship the other person had stopped caring about, so I ended up dropping most of them and haven’t heard anything since.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Damn, I hope you’re better now.

I think this has taught us there should be multiple ways of getting in touch with people. Don’t put everything in one basket (in this case, Reddit). Hopefully the Fediverse will be one of many ways to do so.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

I’ve seen what 4chan can cook up, so I think it’d hardly be fair to call you a loser for having the gaul to make friends online haha

Joking aside though, it really does sucks so much, and while I can’t say I built up friends on Reddit, I do I sympathise with your situation.

There are so many people I used to know from my time at Uni, but years later I now only keep contact with a handful on a semi-regular basis, because they just never reach out. It’s always me having to extend the olive-branch, and it gets tiring after a while of realising you’re the only one holding things up.

I’m a rather home-body person myself, so I can also sympathise with not wanting to lose the friends you have for fear of being unable to make more.

I’m hopeful to talk to all sorts of new people here, as everything does feel more personal than Reddit for the most part. Also given the size of the community I do find myself running into people I’ve chatted with before to gain more insight from. In fact, I vaguely recognise your avatar, so we might’ve even spoken before too haha

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

KBin is fairly intuitive as well, in spite of it’s lack of some quality of life improvements they need to implement. I am using it pretty active now on it.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
*

I can’t speak to old-school Reddit because I joined fairly late to the party (2018-ish), but this does feel a lot like the old-school forums I used to frequent.

I’m glad you’ve already had the chance to integrate with folks around here, and I’m sure you’ll have plenty a chance to carve out a niche to hang out in.

Yeah, I think a lot of people feel that way. I certainly do - the blackouts and moving to Kbin gave me a chance to reflect on how I used Reddit, the habits I fell into, and to make what I think are healthier choices about them. For one, less doom-scrolling, and more attempting to interact more meaningfully with threads.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I had a really bad back injury a couple years ago and still can’t be out of bed for more than an hour a day. It sucks hard and you have my sympathy.

You should reach out to your friends if you haven’t. It’s possible they’re also lamenting that no one has reached out to them!

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I feel you with this. Covid has made me completely bed bound and social media of one kind or another has been my only socializing for 3 years. Though Reddit isn’t one of the main ones for me, it does pain me to see some areas of assistance has gone away.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

When the convenience melts away you find out who your friends really are, and most of the time our friends are friends of convenience. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk, I think we all have this strange disruption of our life and routines from all the reddit goings on. It’s hard on people, as pathetic as that sounds, it’s true.

permalink
report
parent
reply
36 points

I’ve been on Reddit for 14 years now. I honestly don’t know where else to get tailored news and discussion on niche topics, particularly ones too niche to establish a userbase here on the Fediverse yet. I expect I’m just going to be out of the loop on things from now on as I live like a hermit in the mountains.

permalink
report
reply
14 points

You touched on what is the biggest thing for me. I’ve been on Reddit for about the same amount of time. That said, I’m a habitual lurker, so much of the participation and community interaction comments don’t hit as close to home for me, but I’ve been off Reddit since the protest started and I just feel out of the loop. Most of what I was reading every day was trivial nonsense but it was trivial nonsense that I at least felt somewhat informed about, now between getting off Reddit and Twitter I just feel like I’m living under a rock.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Honestly, I think I was spending too much time on Reddit. This debacle has forced me to find some other sources of info.

I am hoping to seeing the fediverse turn into something special. That would be a real gift to the future if we could pull it off.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

I just set up a rss feed of all my subreddits that I still lurk. Try it out!

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Are you using something like IFTTT for that? I’d like to compartmentalize the local subreddits so I can stay up to date on news and events nearby, but I want to avoid the distraction that is reddit in general.

permalink
report
parent
reply
20 points

Yes absolutely. I miss so many subreddits so dearly, and some of them aren’t leaving reddit and I feel too guilty to go back there even though I’m a PC user. I’m really sad about everything, and I feel really lonely and awful. I’ve been super active in both the /kbin and Artemis communities, and they’re both wonderful, so I’m making new friends, but nothing’s going to fill the void truly.

Everything is not awesome :(

permalink
report
reply
15 points
*

Go back to your Reddit friends (e: if you miss them).

I hate Reddit as much as anyone else, but why make yourself miserable because of an API change?

Stay on kbin AND stay on Reddit. Evangelize!

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

I don’t have any interest in contributing to spez’s prosperity. He destroyed the modern Library of Alexandria.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Consider my comment here as a rebuttal. If you want to stay on Reddit, that’s OK, but I see this as an opportunity for you to be a part of doing something different.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

I think it’s largely more than an API change. It felt miserable before Spez made his choice. This most recent choice was the end of a long line of bad choices Spez made. And I absolutely don’t care to see the trainwreck of that site after it’s IPO.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Moving to: m/AskMbin!

!AskKbin@kbin.social

Create post

### We are moving! **Join us in our new journey as we take a new direction towards the future for this community at mbin, find our new community here and read this post to know more about why we are moving. Thank you and we hope to see you there!**

Community stats

  • 1

    Monthly active users

  • 526

    Posts

  • 7.8K

    Comments

Community moderators