It’s lonely being an adult
My wife and I were best friends before getting married. I’m a social butterfly and pop from place to place and she is a ginormous introvert. Neither of us were lonely but loved the adventures we had together. Ten plus years into our marriage and nearly fourteen into our friendship, we still do most things together. Her friends come and go, and she’s the one who understands me deeply and more than anyone else on this planet, and yet we find solace in each other, friendship, and a partnership neither of us expected. Marriage is not for everyone, it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of trust, but mostly it’s not there to fix a problem. If you go into it broken looking for something else, you may never find it. In the end, it takes two complete people to make it work.
I married my husband because I love him, not because I didn’t want to be lonely.
It’s occurred to me that if my wife ever cheated on me, maybe instead of getting upset I could just make friends with her boyfriend. We’d already have it in common that we like having sex with my wife so maybe we’d have other stuff in common, too.
A man who is unable to set very fundamental boundaries in a relationship is not a real man. If you enter a relationship with the intention of having a monogamous marriage, then get cucked, then accept it, it means you have no spine. Any “boundaries” that you loosely claim to have, really don’t exist. How are you supposed to be a father? Children need a man as a father, not a spineless cuck.
I can respect a man more who just has casual sex/one-night-stands. Because there is a possibility that he can set boundaries once he actually enters a relationship, whereas with you, it’s a certainty that you cannot.
I wish it was as easy as it was when we were kids and on the playground. You would just show someone your sweet dinosaur toy and ask them to play with you and boom friends for life. Or until mom got tired of sitting in the bench. Whichever happened first.
I think it is quite unfair towards someone to be with them only because otherwise you wouldn’t have any friends. Unless of course you both know about that.
Many people do not invest in relationships and that is the main reason they end up alone. I have seen this in other couples a lot.
For example, my father always tagged along but never had any respect for the work my mother put into relationships with friends and families. When they divorced my father became a grumpy and lonely old man who gets increasingly awkward the longer he spends cooped up alone.
He believes his way out is finding another woman. He seems to be unable to understand that it shouldn’t be another person’s job to “make” his social life…
A partner is no replacement for friends and they can’t be the stand in for all other relationships.
