This post is mostly intented for plural systems, but I’m open to anyone responding as well, even if you aren’t plural. It’s nice to hear from another perspective outside our community.

When you have more than one selves within the same body, it’s fair to say that the pronoun “I” may not be enough sometimes. After all, if you share your body with more than one selves, some of the things your body does would technically be done by all of your selves.

For example, as a plural system myself, whenever I go anywhere, technically all my headmates (or another selves) will also go with me since we share the same body. If the body goes somewhere, everyone goes along with it. With that, some stuff about us can’t be described with just “I.” Think of how I’ve been using “we,” “us,” and “our” throughout this post.

So, if you’re plural yourself, do you also use plural pronouns the same way we do? When do you use “we” to describe yourself? And when do you use “I” to describe yourself?

For me at least, I usually use singular pronouns for stuff like opinions, since every one of us have differing opinions (even if we share the same body!). For example, I am writing most of this text alone, so I use singular first person.

But, for stuff all of us agree on, stuff written by more than one headmates, or stuff involving multiple headmates, I often use plural pronouns like “we” since it involves more than one of us. I also use we for the more formal stuff. In a way, it’s kind of like using royal/formal we.

Honestly, being more than one in the same body presents a lot of weird and interesting quirks, and this is just one of them.

And, if you’re not plural or don’t understand what’s going on here (that’s understandable), how often do you use royal/formal we to describe yourself? If you’re the sole moderator of a community on lemmy or someplace else, do you use “we” for moderator announcements to sound more formal?

4 points

I only use ‘we’ when I also mean my cat.

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3 points

Overall we tend to use we more than I. I gets used when someone is expressing their own opinion, when in non-plural spaces online, sometimes when talking to people we aren’t out to, and sometimes when only one of us is up front and no one else is close to front.

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1 point

Certainly very similar to how we do it.

It only becomes a problem when I slipped up using plural pronouns while talking to people who don’t know we’re plural.

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2 points

I use the royal we more often than I like.

We rarely use we to refer to being plural even in plural friendly spaces.

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2 points

This is a screenshot of the chat between my wife and I where I searched for the term “Wir lieben dich” (we love you), which yields 879 results over the course of many years.

I have a rule to always use “I” instead of “we” anywhere in public, though. I don’t want to attract attention and I don’t want to tell everybody everytime, like many others seem to do.

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1 point

To be honest, we rarely use “we” in public either, outside of plural-friendly spaces like this community and other similar ones on another site, even then it’s mostly online. But internally, we use ‘we’ a lot when talking between headmates, which makes sense.

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2 points

I almost exclusively use ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ most of the time since I’m the on doing the talk and women that I share my body with does not like to use social media. But will use ‘We’ when it’s both something we’re agreed with or share the same opinions.

If we need to talk about ourselves separately we just use our name instead of ‘I’ and just use ‘I’ only for someone who doesn’t know that she share her brain cell with me lol

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2 points

I almost exclusively use ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ most of the time since I’m the on(e) doing the talk and women that I share my body with does not like to use social media. But will use ‘We’ when it’s both something we’re agreed with or share the same opinions.

Kinda reminds me of how our system do it, but only for opinions. On the internet, it’s easy to use ‘I’ as we rarely front together while making posts.

But the weird thing is, is how many times I ‘accidentally’ switch to ‘we’ when writing. It almost always happens in a certain situations. I automatically switch to ‘we’ when describing stuff that isn’t an opinion and applies to all of us in the physical world. For example, when describing our body.

But it’s amazing how quick and normal the switch is, almost as if I know intuitively when to use ‘I’ and when to use ‘we’. But it does become a problem every once in a blue moon when I accidentally use ‘we’ while talking to people who don’t know we’re plural.

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Plural - for those who are never alone

!plural@lemm.ee

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About this community

This is a community for those who are never alone. Whether you have DID, OSDD, tulpas, soulbonds, are part of the plurality umbrella, or know that you are never alone, you are more than welcome here! We also encourage those who are curious about plurality and want to learn more about it, as well as those who are still questioning.

What is plural?

TLDR for community rules

  1. Follow lemm.ee general rules: no abusive language, no bigotry, no advertising, no pornography.
  2. All plural identities are valid; do not dispute the validity of anyone.
  3. Don’t pressure questioning people; let people decide whether they’re plural or not.
  4. We are not therapist or professionals; this community is not a substitute for professional help.
  5. Be mindful of what you post here; put trigger warning in the post title for negative and/or triggering contents.
  6. All rules apply regardless of who is using an account; as with real life, you are responsible for what your other selves may do.
  7. Do not insist anyone to stop using a term they prefer to refer to themselves.

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