Not when did you come out, that’s a whole different story, but when did you know you were a gay bro?
I’ve always been excited by other guys, I remember being very young (like 7/8) and getting a bit too into the wrestling. My parents turned it off 😩
I was around 13 when someone said something about ‘gay’ and I learned it was a whole thing. It was like a light bulb moment and a bunch of things instantly made sense. And that was it, came out to some friends not long after and that was it.
How about you guys?
When I was 10 I saw a made for TV movie about a boy who accidentally cloned himself. The clone learned quickly, but I thought “wouldn’t he have to teach the clone how to pee and take a shower?” So, I imagined how that would play out.
Yeah, it was all downhill from there. I’m surprised I don’t have a water-sports fixation.
I should note that I was very sheltered, and it would be 3 years before I discovered what I was doing was called.
I always felt attracted to muscular guys. I enjoyed watching wrestling/WWE due to that…
When I was young, dunno exactly what age, but something like 13-16, I had this friend that had a more muscular build than normal and yep, everytime I saw him without his shirt…
Needless to say, muscular guys are still my thing. Sadly, they are hard to come by.
I love that both of us had a thing about wrestling. Even looking at it now it still seems really homo erotic to me to be honest.
There’s always the one friend isn’t there? My first huge crush was on a friend in school so I asked for skateboard lessons from him so we could hang out lol.
When I was prepubescent I was very “jealous” of some boys. I remember a boy in 5th grade that had almost abs and I couldn’t stop thinking about them or him for some reason.
I knew what gay was, but it was outside the range of possibilities. Gay people were evil and fruity and effeminate and molested kids and lived in San Francisco and weren’t Christians. I’m a good Christian boy that’s normal so I can’t be gay. Although my classmates certainly thought I was gay and let me know all the time.
When I started masturbating, because I was a good boy, I’d look at PG-13 porn. I’d literally Google things like “girls in bikinis”. This was in sixth grade.
Going into 7th grade… I started straight up having crushes on guys and even having sex dreams. We had to start changing in gym. I really really liked changing in gym. I even liked that sweaty smell. My “porn” started to become things like “Aaron Carter shirtless” or “boys wrestling bulges”.
I would rationalize it in my mind - I just like the male form… It’s just “hero worship” because those boys are so much hotter than me… It’s just a phase… I haven’t met the right girl yet.
Going into high school I sort of just accepted that I was gay.
That self-acceptance didn’t really help. I was a 100% virgin until I was 24.
When I was 24 I was (and still am) really really depressed. I had gone from slightly chubby boy to morbidly obese man. I weighed 315.
There was a guy, my age, that I had a crush on at work and would think about constantly. He was pretty masculine and straight acting for lack of a better word but there were little hints here and there that he was gay and that made my crush that much more intense.
I felt so disgusted with my body that I never really approached him or tried to flirt or anything like that… But he unkowingly motivated me to lose 75 lb in 6 months. I’m 6’4 so 240 lb is still little chubby but it’s in the realm of normal.
With new found confidence we started flirting through instant message and texts… Before you knew it we were in the backseat of my car making out and I was jerking him off. This started a sort of casual relationship with going out and jerking and sucking.
After a few months he got a new job and moved away. Sad face.
I thought that was going to be a jumping off point into being a normal person. Instead I went back in my shell. Shot back up to 360 lbs. Never tried an app or dating or anything in the 10 years since.
Wow that was a ride. I can really relate to your soft core porn stuff lol. I used to use the underwear section of the clothing catalogue, going through the underwear section in the shops was intense after that though!
Sorry you didn’t jump off into the world of dating and apps and all that. You said that he motivated you, but it sounds more like you motivated yourself because you saw something you wanted. I’ve got faith you can do it again if you want to, you’re still you and haven’t lost anything you had then (except maybe some eye candy).
It can be hard to motivate ourselves after some time but honestly the first step is always the hardest 😊
I’ve known since I was about 9 or 10 but conditioned and learned to repress it since then after being caught in bed with my best friend (crush). Hope that part of me changes one day.
Hey, that sounds not so fun. I hope you’re able to find peace one day too.
Thanks. Sucks that even in my early 20s im still afraid to come out to even just coworkers. Everyone likes to say theres no big deal about it anymore but it definitely changes how people see you.
I mean it can do I suppose, it sounds like it’s changed how you see yourself a bit perhaps?
I like that saying ‘the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter’ in those situations.
I’m sure you’ll find a way to be unafraid one day, maybe see if there are any LGBTQ+ orgs near you that can give you some support or a place to talk?
Hope that part of me changes one day.
The repression? Whoever caught you, how did they react?
Third grade 😅 I still remember the name of the boy I had a crush on back then. Didn’t come out until senior year highschool.
