Always check for toilet paper before you shit

• It’s possible to make no errors and still lose.

• Some people are dealt a worse hand in life than others and some people are better at playing their hand than others, so don’t assume you know why people are the way they are.

• Patient compassion will never make you look like a jerk, but snap judgements will.

1. Be comfortable in your own skin.
2. Know why you have boundaries, and keep the good ones.
3. They either want you to listen, or to help. They rarely want both.
4. It’s only a “Teaching Moment” if they want to be taught. Otherwise you’re just annoying.
5. Try not to confuse politeness for friendship.
6. Chew each bite of food into a paste before swallowing, with your eating utensil on the table or the hand meal out of your hand.
7. The true you is the you that you do when no one’s watching. (See #1…)
8. A happy life is 51% happy. Settle for nothing less, strive for something sustainably more.
9. If you’re feeling depressed take a step back and make sure you haven’t accidentally surrounded yourself with assholes.
10. Only ever brush and floss the teeth you want in your head when you’re old.

Nothing matters but family and friends. The rest will pass sooner or later, there is no need to cling to it when it is time to let go.

Sheer spite is a perfectly valid reason to continue to get out of bed in the morning.

Nobody on their deathbed has ever said, “I wish I spent more time in the office.”

A battle you don’t have to fight is a battle won. But if you do have to hurt somebody, hurt them bad enough that they won’t get back up. Otherwise, they’re very likely to come right back at you.