I have no friends or partner, I’ve been very lonely.
When I go out to try to meet people, no one ever comes up to me and starts talking to me. But if I want to meet someone I have to do exactly that. But like, why should I have to be the one to initiate 100% of the time? Shouldn’t it be 50/50? (And I’m not really talking about societal expectations of the man initiating with the woman, I’d rather have a boyfriend anyway.)
I have such a hard time initiating conversations with people, to the point where I mostly just stress out and sit there alone. If someone initiated with me things might go better. But they just don’t.
The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that literally no one has any interest in me.
Your question is answered in one of your comments:
Actually, I’m wearing a mask anyway because I don’t want to catch covid. I’m guessing most people see me wearing a mask (and like an N95 not a shitty cloth mask) and are turned away by the “weirdness” of it because “covid is over”. Even though the chance of me catching covid without a mask is probably greater than the chance of me talking to anyone, with or without a mask. Or it probably just comes off as uninviting in general, it’s literally a protective barrier.
It’s 100% this. You’re thinking too hard about it. No one wants to talk to you because everyone is resentful that you haven’t “moved on” from Covid. In their plague rat eyes, you’re a complete freak for even taking Covid seriously, let along taking Covid seriously almost 4 years in. The NTs (this is NT plague rats in particular and not just plague rats in general who also sadly include some NDs who should know better) are also deeply resentful that their ability to read your facial expressions are greatly hindered because your mouth is hidden behind a mask.
You could be the most stereotypical NT with complete mastery of NT communication and social skills, and you will still get the cold shoulder because you’re wearing a mask. Society has drawn a line in the sand, and if you refuse to take off the mask, you’re going to face social ostracization no matter what you do.
Same here… even hobby groups, aside from a few people there.
Although, and I say this, knowing this is not for everyone, I’ve recently started going to my local kink/BDSM scene. The people there are more friendly than other places I’ve seen, and are very non judgemental, and many are neurodivergent.
look a a picture of adam sandler and if you look similar wear anything else and youll be ok
the best advice hurts just a little
lmao my entire wardrobe is t-shirts (mostly non-graphic) and jeans. Plus a few polo shirts. I have no idea what to wear besides that.
Consider the sports coat or a car coat. Maybe in a nice tweed, well fitted. With a t shirt youll look a bit Berkeley Start-up founder, but its not a bad thing.
Or for more casual looks any sort of jacket. In any case layering is key. Military surplus is generally great for this, especially ex eastern bloc.
Get a pair of chelsea boots in black or brown. You can wear them for anything from hiking to a job interview.
I haven’t met anyone IRL for like 18 years
I am probably permanently undateable and I am at my wit’s end about it. I don’t want to die but it feels like I’m stuck and will never move on from this state of being,
I’m a big fan of finding a group and interjecting tidbits to their conversation until they warm up to me. Takes a lot of pressure off to join an ongoing conversation.
