Writing this as the coffee is doing it’s magic. Today’s feature is light brown, with a fathered texture and weak structural integrity. Stink level is average.
Report in with your stink pickles. Bidet gang rise up!
Rough and stubbly but still nice fathered or out the door before you know it fathered?
I took my usual covfefe shid today. It was wetter than usual, which makes no sense because I had a delicious healthy meal mostly from my partner’s garden yesterday.
I’ve had hemorrhoids for weeks and weeks, internal and external. I bought some TCM “Mayinglong” butt paste on the recommendation of reddit, it’s got some wild combo of calomine, vaseline, amber, artificial bezoar, artificial musk, and pearl. It seemed to help. I finally got serious about it and I’ve been eating big bowls of oatmeal for breakfast and lots of vegetables for dinner, along with fiber gummies in the morning. I’m taking 3-5 shits a day now. I’m farting around the clock, relentlessly. Every morning I have a huge fart the moment I wake up. This morning I dropped an unbroken 2 foot coil, thick and brown, that lazily circled the bowl until it broke the water level. I called my lover in to look at it and they agreed that it was an impressive movement.
The other day i was eating lunch at home, I hauled off and shat the hell out of my shorts thinking I was just gonna loose a raunchy fart. It was all water so I couldn’t feel what was in store. I don’t always shit my pants, but I’m definitely an occasional pants shitter. I love farting too much. I get in trouble.
