I don’t know about you, but I really struggle with emails. These sentences were really helpful!
Always happy to help!
No I’m not <.<
Could you do (time)?
I will never be able to pick a time :-\
It’d be easier to discuss in person
NOOOOPE
(Being assertive)
Not a chance :'D
This stuff is all bad for me 😅
Oh, very social anxiety 🙀Probably some ‘the spectrum’ funs too.
… I can barely leave my bedroom <.< hides under pillow
I prefer my favorite one: “as per my previous email”
This is great! I found this sorting by New and these tips are applicable for anyone (not only those suffering from ADHD) to have a more authoritative and confident tone to your digital communications.
Bit of a tangent, not just emails, not just professionaly, but one thing I find saves me a lot of stress is that I ask less unnecessary questions.
Not: Would you like to join me / go with me and do x? You can’t go on day x? What about day y?
Instead: I’m going to do X at date, location, time. If you want you can join me, let me know.
Not: Can you do X?
Instead: I would like you to do X.
Not: When will it be ready?
Instead: I’m assuming it’ll be ready by X. Let me know if this is correct.
Not: What’s the deadline?
Instead: I can have this done by X. Let me know if this is acceptable.
TLDR: don’t ask people permission or assume they won’t be ok with what you want to do. Tell them what you’re doing/planning/expecting, offer them the opportunity to help/join/give input.
Bonus: makes you come across as less uncertain and saves a lot of back and forth.
I’ve found that some people don’t respond if you ask for confirmation “will that be finished by tomorrow?”. Asking in the negative allows for you to assume everything is fine unless they respond “the due date is tomorrow, please let me know if you need help to finish that on time”.
Perhaps it’s less polite, but if you’re dealing with people who rarely reply, it puts the burden on them and doesn’t leave you waiting for their reply.
Yup, I tend to over-apologize, so this is perfect. It’s funny, I also posted this on YSK, and I don’t think the neurotypical people like the whole concept… 😅
It’s very common. I’ve lived in the UK where everyone does this a lot, but I’ve also lived in places like the Netherlands where people are far less likely to do this and are more honest.
I think on balance, it’s often better to be more direct. Instead of saying “Sorry, but would it be ok if I asked you to make a little less noise?” you simply say “I don’t like that you’re making that much noise.”
Of course, the person you’re talking to is free to do whatever they want with that information. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to feel the way you do about it, and voice that.
I mean, imagine saying “Sorry, but would it be ok if I don’t like jazz music?” No one does that. You say “I don’t like jazz very much.” and the person you’re talking to is free to agree or disagree. It’s ok. You don’t need permission to like/want/need things.
There’s a related therapeutic technique called non-violent communication. that’s also found wider use because it can help solve communication issues in non-therapeutic settings.
I also posted this on YSK, and I don’t think the neurotypical people like the whole concept… 😅
They may not, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It’s just as likely they’ve simply spent less time thinking about it, are unaware of their limitations, and are adverse to change.
I was a teacher for a while, and there’s this concept called “universal design for learning”. Teachers often deal with groups of learners who have individual learning differences. A class may have a kid with ADHD, a kid with autism, a kid with dyslexia, etc. Anyway, the gist of it is that a lot of the research suggest that stuff that makes it easier for the kid with a particular learning difference also makes things easier for the kids without learning difficulties. Like subtitles for the deaf can also be used by the hearing to better understand what’s being said.
So stuff that makes it easier for someone with ADHD is quite likely to also help someone without ADHD.
