Not his first attempt, but I want to do whatever I can to encourage him to stay on the wagon this time. I don’t have any experience of this, so I’d appreciate any tips from those who have been there already.
Edit 02/10: he’s still clean!
Don’t do anything. Any reminder of smoking makes it harder to resist.
The cravings come in waves, so I guess the best thing you can do when you are around, if he seems to have the craving, is to try to distract him, maybe learn a few jokes you can fire off. Whatever distraction will work for a while.
Personally I quit by switching to vapes, and then after years of vaping, I decided to quit that too. Quitting vaping seemed easier, as I could decrease the nicotine, and continue to vape. Took me 3 months to quit.
I was a heavy smoker with strong dependency.
Reduce smoking first. This diminishes the craving. Switch to nicotine vape, this breaks the association with the cigarette. Taper nicotine dose over time, further diminishing the craving. Switch to nicotine lozenges, this breaks the association with inhalation. Taper the dose to zero.
A big part of smoking addiction is the behaviours and habits. Desire to smoke is triggered by familiar settings where it is customary to smoke and it is those settings that one should avoid. You cannot go back to your old routines like drinking in the pub and expect it to be easy. You can find healthy alternatives like joining a sport club, where your increasing lung capacity will motivate you.
The bottom line truth is that unless you really truly want to give up, you won’t. Your friend is really the only one who knows if that’s true for them or not.
Most smokers have times and places they associate with smoking - in the old days it was being in the pub. Also, after meals, when work ends, lunchbreaks etc. Those are the times to try and keep them distracted.
Hope you don’t mind me chiming in from the US… I’m approaching 2 years without smoking. I can’t really say if there was any one thing that helped me quit, but I had smoked about a pack a day for the last 20 years.
When I decided to quit (I’ve stopped for months at a time in the past, but never seriously) I made the decision that I wouldn’t smoke again and quit cold turkey. I kept the same routines though: having a beer with friends after work, going outside with them when they smoked, and going outside at work when my colleagues smoked. I enjoyed the smell of the secondhand smoke, but I enjoyed the socializing and camaraderie more and it didn’t really tempt me all that much. It was more about the commitment that I made in my head when I decided to quit smoking that kept me from lighting up. The cravings sucked at first, but it is somewhat like mourning a dead loved one. Always horrible, you’ll forever miss it, and eventually it sucks a little less.
I did miss smoking the most when travelling for work. There is a bit of a language barrier where I go most often, and I hadn’t realized how much I used smoking as a crutch when I needed to get away and feel comfortable. It still just came down to me not wanting to disappoint the inner me, however.
I don’t know if that makes sense, and I don’t know how to really explain it better. I hope something in that jumble of words helps though.
Chime away :)
It was more about the commitment that I made in my head when I decided to quit smoking that kept me from lighting up
That’s the key - that commitment. Interesting that you found it OK to not change your habits to avoid smokers etc. I would’ve found that torture.
I recommend your friend to read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Never been a smoker so I can’t comment on that aspect, but just wanted to say it’s nice that you want to support your friend!
Maybe just make sure he’s got plenty to do so he’s not sitting around at home thinking about it, suggest hangout activities that aren’t around other smokers, that sort of thing. All just casual and without making a big deal.
