139 points

Explaining democracy to Americans:

Imagine a Coca-Cola

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85 points

Fascism is when KFC only sells Pepsi.

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10 points

We must seize the means of dispensing soda!

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55 points

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Well shit.

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I’m sorry comrade…it must be done

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21 points

Shit well

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12 points

That’s a rather nice, if potentially overly-personal, thing to say.

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9 points

Well, it’s a healthy thing to do!

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70 points

They put it in the only way Americans would understand.

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65 points

Democracy is when corporations own the government and buy every election and control the media entirely. I am extremely intelligent.

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Democracy is when you let private prisons lobby to make more actions crimes in order to increase the prisoner population.

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57 points
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63 points

Some liberal smuglords will dislike the comparison to Coca-Cola, but it’s accurate in describing how unipolar force is applied worldwide and it is simple enough for Burgerlanders to understand the metaphor enough to get mad at it.

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32 points
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22 points

And both murder trade unionists in the imperial periphery

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25 points

Should be simple enough for MAGAts as well.

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13 points

Speech great.

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