Amazing about the comments is that while a majority seems to “deliver” when the pressure is on, they split 50/50 on whether they feel great during it or suffer greatly, no middle ground.

I’m definitely in the 2nd group. I can get it done if the alternative has horrifying consequences, but it’s not a good feeling.

Maybe two things are mixed up, though. One is like a thing where not doing it is horrible, such as vet appointment for the pet, crucial last deadline at work, kid’s birthday party. The other is like working in a high stress environment, like a project where everything is on fire and under pressure, it’s not about our condition, or an emergency situation like a sinking ship.

I, personally, suffer greatly in the former, but less than the average person in the latter.

I noticed that I can be a bad friend, at times. Need to unload for hours, too impatient to listen, and when I do it out of politeness, I won’t pay attention.

With some friends, I suspect that they just have the pity to be like ChatGPT, like “That’s so relatable!”, “Wow, that IS an interesting day you had there!”, “So funny! Glad I missed South Park to listen to your much funnier ramblings!”

At times, I had a like-minded friend, and we would just take turns talking for roughly the same duration, like an unspoken agreement.

Exact same story down to every detail. Both parents teachers, but no clue. The weirdest conclusions and theories about me. Like: Far below average intelligence, but with a talent for languages and mathematics (is that even a thing?), which got me through school with effortless Cs. Most of the time I (and probably others) thought I was just a general shithead.

I realised what it was 4 years ago and told a psychiatrist, who did not disagree, but was like: woa, hold your horses. Got a referral to a full neurological & psychiatric check-up from my GP, who wrote on the referral that he suspects ADD without hyperactivity, 1 1/2 years ago. Couldn’t use it, because they are overrun by more urgent cases.

Started paying out of pocked to a private clinic 6 months ago and got the official, written diagnosis 1 month ago (exactly what my GP already suspected). Since then, lots of delays to get treatment. No appointments, then appointment available, but latest bloodwork and ECG expired etc. Had one appointment last week cancelled 2 hours before start.

Honestly, with a medical system so overrun, a GP should just be authorised to do the diagnostic if supported by purely computer evaluated multiple choice test. The standardized tests appear to be the foundation anyway, and the many hours of additional psychiatric evaluation are just something that the medical system can’t support.

And yes, now my child. He is a true math genius who could do 2 or 3 classes above his own, but he hates books (only since school, not before!) and his reading & writing is just a hateful, effortless B. In two languages equally well, though. I suspect something is up there, but don’t want to project. I never had problems understanding math, but was certainly not ahead of the class. Loved books though, perfect spelling.

Let’s hope things work out for us and our children!

Problem is that the approach “MUST do NOW, until it is DONE!” doesn’t work for many of us. I developed methods for myself, which I try to apply to my own child now, like: “When you get home from school, lay out everything you need to work, then relax. At time X, do 15 minutes on a timer, as far as you get.”

He still moans and groans about it, and it’s hard for me to tell if my “soft push” feels to him like the “hard push” I got. It’s all relative, and nobody else can tell.

I made it work. When I’m called out, I go like: “Actually, there is a crucial aspect about point X (10 minutes ago) that we just skipped: …” and it makes me seem thoughtful and thorough.

It’s actually the normies who can’t even do laundry without a little neurotransmitter bottle from mommy frontal cortex. We fight demons every day.

Why must I be a Jar Jar type? Why can’t I be a Doc Brown ADHD type?

Not the worst that can happen. Job lost, dishes done.

I even encourage myself to do this, so at least SOMETHING gets done.

The only way I can picture this: Face the talker, lean forward at the hip joint as far as balance allows, rotate both arms like V-22 Osprey propellers, mouth wide open without making a sound.

Also annoying though are people who think they “get it”, stop listening and be interruptive after a few words, and totally miss the crucial part that comes later.

Other neurodivergent people are hard to hang out with, except for sharing our grievances in memes :-)