Don’t forget cigarettes.

First one is pretty decent from what I remember. Didn’t even know it got a sequel.

Don’t have sex with turtles, you’ll get salmonella.

Hey France sounds like the Greeks need to borrow some guillotines.

I like to think of Jesus with like giant eagles wings and singing lead vocals for lynyrd skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and I’m in the front row, and I’m hammered drunk.

As the largest inmate won’t he simply eat the smaller inmates?

Reagan would like a word.

GOP governor candidate can go sit on a cactus.

At worst Trump will get another stern talking to, as he always has.

It would have to be a strong ass cross to hold his bloated carcass up.