CoolYori [she/her]
Just an autistic trans girl making stupid comments on the internet.
I completely understand where you are coming from and you are not crazy. For me I have complex PTSD because of my traumatic childhood. That means my default model for dealing with trauma is dissociation. So I see parts of myself as different aspects of who I am. One part of myself is the one that has my given name or what people call a deadname. He is one of our protectors and in IFS speak he is a firefighter. That is why I dislike the idea of thinking of him as dead. I know this sounds a little different from what you are experiencing but I figured it was close enough that I would tell you about it. Hopefully you take some comfort in it.
I love Eureka Seven so much! A simple sweet love story that hits me in the feels a little too hard. Not to go off topic, but have you ever seen Xam’d? A lot of people compare it to Eureka Seven for some odd reason. Not many people saw it when it came out because it was released exclusively on the Ps3 streaming service that Sony tried to push a long time ago.