I can already see people saying you don’t have to worry if you don’t fuck monkeys.

This got a laugh, which is surprising because the original story horrified me.

Imagine being sat at the really long table with Putin, saying how the mission to burn down an IKEA in Lithuania was a great success.

I understand how you are feeling, and nothing I can tell you today is going to be able to change that.

I don’t understand why this sort of thing doesn’t happen more often during these wierd visits to places.

She could avoid all this unpleasantness by fucking off for good instead of clinging onto relevance. She deserves worse, but I absolutely love this banner.

Ooh thank you. I hope you can see why I was sceptical!

Judges ruled that they do not have the procedural authority to withdraw the execution order at this time.

I’m going to suggest the system might not work.

This is step 86 in the plan. Step 87 is make people pay for the previously free service

Conversation with ex girlfriend:

Her: I just got my car back from the garage. They told me to keep an eye on the tyre wear, but I don’t really know what that means or how to do it.

Me: I can show you how to do that if you like?

Her: I don’t need you to mansplain things to me! MAN KNOW CAR THING, WOMAN NO DO.

I stopped myself from correcting her interpretation of mansplaining, because it was clear that any man was forbidden from communicating normally with her.