Moof

🔫 This ain’t your dAdDy’S phonecall! 🚨

💥 This is a phonecall from J-j-j-john Smiiiiiiith! 📯 💣

🐐 Bringing you the latest up-to-date news from the 📣 Coolest Assistant Manager At Pizza Huuuuuuut 😱

👾 So can you come in EaR-eAr-EaRlY on M-m-m-monday moOoorniiiiiing? 🐮

Is that the reason behind the “dragon abducts a princess” trope? They’re trying to sabotage the competition?

And he has time to antagonize The Batmans

Well, first you’d have to explain to the TSA guard why you have so many “save-file buttons,” and after you crumble to dust you can easily drift away to catch your flight

…Is Jesus distracting the mermaids so the burglars can heist a hydroelectric dam?

aww yuss, ferret stories

Yeah, I really need to use Mewolingo more

“Honey, I think there was a mix-up at the hospital.”

“What makes you say that?”

I feel like Muppet adaptations work best when the source material is serious enough to riff on it, and TPB is inherently very light and fun. I would definitely watch a Fred Savage edition.

Better yet, she only had to pay for one wedding!