Ah, I was wondering why YouTube was taking so long to load recently. I thought it was just because their code was shit, and it turns out I was right, but not in the way I thought.

Image Transcription: Meme

Junior devs writing comments:

[A photograph of a road signpost in front of a metal fence with a low, long building in the distance. The post has two signs on it. At the top is an octagonal sign, filled red with a white outline, reading “STOP”. Beneath it is a rectangular sign with an arrow pointing up to the stop sign, and text reading “THIS IS A STOP SIGN”.]

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Somehow, Altman returned.

Image Transcription: Comic

[Swords DCCXXXIX: CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON, by Matthew J Wills]

Panel 1

[A sword with a brightly glowing blade. The hilt is blue and scaly, while the guard forms the shape of two yellow-eyed, green-scaled dragons consuming one another’s tails to form a circle. The pommel features a ring hole from one side to the other. At the tip of the blade are two dots and a very thin line forming a slightly smiling face.]

A SWORD THAT GLOWS BRIGHTLY WHENEVER YOU’RE HUNGRY

Panel 2

[A sword on a wavy dark blue background. The blade is large, heavy, and only sharp on one side. There is a large spike like a dorsal fin bending backwards from the blunt edge, two divets like side fins on the flat, four divets along the sharp edge, and a large crack digging into the tip, reminiscent of a toothy maw. The hilt is dark brown, seemingly bound with leather straps.]

A SWORD THAT ONLY WORKS UNDER WATER

Panel 3

[A sword with a blade enclosed in pink-and-white striped wax, like a decorative candle. The hilt is blue, with a crossguard that curls up towards the blade. At the tip of the blade, the wax is melted away, revealing a dark, sharp interior like the wick of a candle, and more reminiscent of a wooden stake than of a blade. This tip is on fire, and the fire blazes forwards to form a more conventional sword-tip shape.]

A FIRE SWORD THAT ONLY LASTS FOR A SINGLE DAY

Panel 4

[A jagged, decrepit sword, curved in multiple places. The tip curves forwards then hooks back again like the tip of a khopesh, with two distinct, sudden corners to change angle instead of a gradual curve.

Beneath the tip, the blade is partially enclosed in a wooden guard of some sort. There is a spiral marking leading into a line on the upper part of this, and the wood is unenclosed at the front until the very bottom of the blade, where it closes over and curves to a very thin point before curving back to meet the hilt.

From the spot just above the hilt, grey hair like a beard emerges from the wood. The hilt is wrapped in white strapping of some sort, and the pommel has a ring hole from one side to the other, and three spikes, one on the bottom, two on the sides.]

A SWORD THAT STEALS THE VICTIMS AGE AND ADDS IT TO THE WIELDERS

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Image Transcription: Meme

[The meme shows two fanart images of the character Sayori, from “Doki Doki Literature Club”, with text to the right of each image.]

[In the first image, Sayori is wearing sunglasses and scowling, with her hand up in a blocking gesture. The text reads:]

Anti-Cheat

[In the second image, Sayori has her head up high, looking pleased, with a finger pointed to the right, where the text reads:]

Kernel Level Surveillance

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Image Transcription: Twitter

Giray Özil, @girayozil

Ask a programmer to review 10 lines of code, he’ll find 10 issues. Ask him to do 500 lines and he’ll say it looks good.

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Image Transcription: Greentext

Anonymous

[Image of a feminine anime character with very pale red hair, pink eyes, blush under the eyes, and an open mouth.]

>Install the Linix operating system

>Suspicious black van is parked outside my apartment and doesn’t move

>Black cashier at the grocer made weird hand gestures at me

>Every second night at 8 PM a car will circle past my window and honk exactly 3 times

>Every new month someone will leave a piece of litter in my mailbox

>Start receiving silent calls from random numbers every time I do the laundry

>Coworker talked to me about his dog in-person, next morning all youtube ads are about dog food and dog toys

>Stopped by a burger stand one day on my way home, all my bookmarked blogs running google adsense start advertising McDonald’s exclusively

>My hotmail account is suddenly flooded with spam mails about alien abductions

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Image Transcription: Meme

In Unix there is a “man” command and a “cat” command…

[Image of a black dog with a white throat and floppy ears that hang limply, sitting by a bed. Their mouth is downturned and their round, sad eyes look up.]

so why no “dog” command???

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Image Transcription: Code

bool is_prime(int x)
    return false;
}

[Beneath the code is a snippet of console output, as follows:]

test no.99989: passed
test no.99990: passed
test no.99991: failed
test no.99992: passed
test no.99993: passed
test no.99994: passed
test no.99995: passed
test no.99996: passed
test no.99997: passed
test no.99998: passed
test no.99999: passed
95.121% tests passed

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Image Transcription: Meme

[Gru, the long-nosed protagonist of the “Despicable Me” franchise, presents to the camera, pointing into the air and smiling. Behind him is a flipchart with text reading:]

And the best part about using Linux: No viruses!

[Still presenting, Gru has his hand in a C shape and his head down as he peers at the gap between his fingers. The text now reads:]

Look at this, a website downloaded a malicious .exe on my machine.

[Gru now has his hands pointing down, fingers splayed, still presenting. The text now reads:]

*Double Click*

See? Nothing happe…

[Gru looks back to the flipchart in a double-take, his eyes round and wide and his mouth downturned. The text still reads:]

*Wine is launching*

[The Wine logo: a slightly tipped wine glass with red wine sloshing inside it.]

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