NudistWardrobe
Your situation sounds a lot like mine - been together for 13 years, but we’re both introverted and have found that dating apps aren’t actually all that effective. This means we’re essentially monogamous despite the desire to expand our relationships.
As far as including people “fairly” is concerned, it’s important to remember that one of the best parts of polyamory is that any one person does not have to be your “soulmate”. They may have their own reasons for joining such an arrangement (maybe they don’t WANT the pressure of being a primary!)
There are 8 billion people in the world. Surely there’s somebody out there that fits the description you’re looking for… It’s simply a matter of finding them. Forums like this are probably a good place to start… I’ve been meaning to post here to see if there are any people in a similar situation and apparently there are!
I feel like it’s more effective to use a water spray bottle to punish a kitty.
Ooba is good but kind of technical. I’d instead recommend kobold.cpp for less savvy users who just want things to work. Just download the single exe (no install required) and download a model, then load it up and go!