It’s pretty warm today, so I threw on a T-shirt and was about to head outside when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Oh my god, the pokeys! Hmm, well a light sweater couldn’t hurt. Even so, there’s a definite… shape.

You guys, I think I might have boobs now <3

I’m the kind of person that can’t get a tattoo because it’s “Permanent”

I had this too! I think it came from an internalized idea of “I must accept the body I was born with.” Gave me a massive crisis when my girlfriend at the time got her ears pierced… I was so close to figuring it all out 20 years ago!

Now I’ve allowed myself to change my body, that’s all just vanished. Still don’t fancy a tattoo though :P

And an awful lot of eggs, I bet. “Well, if you insist”

Totally. The “haha, memes” -> “wait, that’s a bit too relatable” -> “oh noooooo” pipeline is real!

Probably the best answer is: talk to a therapist.

Having said that, I didn’t. But you should know that it’s really easy to convince yourself that everything is fine when it isn’t, and difficult to figure out what’s actually wrong. (And then in my case, realize I actually did know all along, and was just suppressing it).

A couple of resources that may help you figure out your gender are:

• The Gender Dysphoria Bible
• How To Figure Out If You’re Trans
• Also egg_irl, either here or on Reddit

I decided to not worry about labels and instead figure out what I want. Who cares whether I’m Really Trans™ if I get to have a feminine body – and that’s something (if I’m honest) I’ve wanted so much since… well, as long as I can remember. Do I feel like a woman? Eh, who knows. I certainly never felt much like a man. Or a human, come to that.

And sure, some days I don’t want to look at my dysphoria-inducing face practicing makeup, or listen to my dysphoria-inducing voice doing training, and that’s fine. Put on some androgynous clothes, cuddle up with Blåhaj and Trust the Process while I watch a film or something. More often than not I end up wanting to do something girly anyway after a while.

And some days, when I get the tuck just right, and my hair isn’t too bad, and I’ve got on some nice tight jeans and a cute sweater, I think: “do I want to be a trans woman?”. And the answer is hell, yeah.

Oh I see, well… I suppose it would be rude not to have some, in that case! I don’t suppose you have any progesterone sprinkles? :3

Oh shoot, episode 2 is out this evening, yay!

I will gladly admit to wanting to cosplay Rem.

Now: I have my own Estrogen and cake will make me fat, but let’s hang out.

Past: Nah man, I’m cool being a guy. But we can still hang out. By the way, where do you keep the cake? Just so I don’t accidentally eat any of it, you understand.

Nowhere near as fast as you, but things I’ve noticed so far (from my notes):

• Day 5: reduced BO (why is this never on the charts?), reduced spontaneous erections, libido gone
• Day 10: swollen nipples
• Day 18: definite buds
• Day 24: semi-clear, low volume emission

I had quite pronounced man-boobs already, so it’s hard to tell about breast growth, but I’ve been losing significant amounts of fat everywhere else and I think they might be a bit more prominent than they were.

Not really noticed stronger emotions or anything like that yet, although I am quite a bit calmer / happier. That could just be because I’m facing the right direction now though!

I’ve wondered about Klinefelter too (didn’t have much of a beard until well into my 30s, for example) - will find out next month when I get my test results back.

Happy birthday! Let each year be better than the last!