ShittyWallpaper [they/them]
Desk work in an office was the most performative, exhausting thing I’d ever done. I remember starting factory work and having it fucking reshape my body worse than the start of any workout I’d ever tried. Like the physical demand of it was brutal. But there were no weird stigmas about talking to people or not talking to people. I didn’t feel like I had to pretend to work when we weren’t busy. My boss didn’t feel the need to constantly imply that I might lose my job. I never questioned whether what I was doing was useful.
And with factory work, my body eventually caught up. I got in shape and even though I was physically tired at the end of the day, my brain was alright and I could myself to do a load of dishes or spend some time with my kids. Even when I was exhausted, I knew I had a good reason to be. For some reason, sitting in an office chair doing nothing for 8 hours is incredibly taxing. I’ve corroborated that with so many people. It’s bizarre. Office work turned me into a shell of a person. I was in a brain fog for months at a time with only a few hours of reprieve, just enough to remind me what being normal felt like and that I was depressed.
Edit: may be relevant that I’m autistic. Office culture does seem to be designed for someone, just certainly not for me. And honestly whoever it’s designed for can fuck off out of principle