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Sunspot

Sunspot@beehaw.org
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It sounds like you’re upsetting the right people.

My wife is a practicing witch. She definitely needs a shirt like this.

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Back when I was Christian, I hated what I was. I spent my youth “praying the gay away” and all that. As a result, I suffered from depression and anxiety pretty much straight out of the womb.

Then I came out, was ostracized by my Christian family, and everything I was afraid of happening happened.

But you know what? I ended up finding a new family who loves and supported who I am. I married a wonderful woman who loves me in all my trans masc non-binary, bisexual confusion.

I realized that what I hated wasn’t my being queer, what I hated was that my family would never love me unconditionally. Now I love who I am and I honestly feel happier than I ever did performing the cis straight dance.

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I’ve only been here for a day, but the lack of homophobia and transphobia here compared to Reddit has been a breath of fresh air. I’m not afraid of posting here like I was on Reddit, where I’d actually have to debate with myself for a minute or two before posting. It’s like finally leaving a bad relationship; now I’m starting to see how bad that all was for my mental health.

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That’s a real relief to me. I see enough of that living in a very red town in a red state. Online communities are one of my only ways to talk to people who don’t want me gone.

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The worst of it, by far, is of course the front page. But some of the subs I can think of off the top of my head where I encountered trans or homophobia are r/Science and even r/Pathfinder2e (if you know anything about the Pathfinder universe, this might seem mind boggling). There was pro LGBTQ+ support in many of these subreddits, but there was always a comment or a debate or whatever in every queer related thread.

The subreddit for the state I live in, while generally supportive, has numerous comments debating my right to exist as a queer person in most threads even vaguely LGBT related. It’s frustrating knowing I could basically only find refuge in LGBT subreddits. Everywhere else, there was always someone making a jab or starting an argument. It’s exhausting.

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Oh geez. Twitter is such a nightmare. I had to quit last year when things started getting bad. I haven’t dipped my toes in Mastodon. Has your experience been much more positive? I’m scared I’ll end up stuck in a bad server!

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I joined my state’s subreddit to keep an eye on local happenings. Our news outlets aren’t the best, so it was a good way to hear what was going on. For the most part, it was a good community. But there was always a handful of people who had to argue equal rights every time it came up and it was disheartening to see the same hate every single time.

Apparently I should get into photography, because your experience on Reddit sounds so chill! LOL

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That’s a relief to hear. There’s been a Twitter shaped hole in my heart since I quit. I think I’d been a Twitter user since my freshman year of college and I’m in my 30s now. LOL

You’ve convinced me to give Mastodon a chance! Thank you for your reassurance. It really does sound like what Twitter should have been.

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I’m all for a good debate. I frequented the technology subreddits since they’re related to my work and I love a good OS or language debate. I’ve learned a lot from hearing other people’s arguments. So that all sounds like friendly banter to me!

I do think the smaller the subreddit, the safer you are. Most of my best experiences are in those subreddits. I just found myself wishing I could explore Reddit a bit more without walking away bummed out by all the hate. It’s hard finding a good subreddit.

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I’ve been through a lot of social media sites over the years. MySpace, Facebook, Twitter. I think you’ve got the right idea avoiding them all at this point! LOL

And I 100% agree regarding third party apps and open protocols. I tried several Reddit apps before Sync really grabbed me. I thought it was so neat having so many options, something I hadn’t seen since the early days of the internet. And then Reddit had to ruin a good thing and take all those away.

I do think the fediverse has the right idea. We shouldn’t all be crammed into a single “one size fits all” site. Now we just need some good apps to go with it!

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