I was going to suggest just this: read this post out loud and record it. I think every bit of this would be touching to someone who’s close to OP.

I was going to a Day’s Inn yearly for a river floating trip, and each year their breakfast got shittier and shittier.

They used to have a Texas shaped (self-serve) waffle maker, muffins, toast, juice, and jam. Now it’s single serving cereal boxes and room temperature OJ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But what is the taxes protection money I pay them for, for?!

This works significantly better if you are of the less melanated complexion.

You want Disco Elysium level racists in all your games? Because they got that right.

I was literally thinking about this case when turning around in someone’s driveway this week. Great precedent for conservatives who believe minorities are around every corner trying to take their homes.

Don’t forget the “getting rusty” as well.

I’d imagine this would have the same success rate as going to a bar and acting like you don’t know how to play pool.

Rinse/repeat with football, car maintenance, video games, etc. and she’ll never have a problem again.

Everyone is calling out “it’s” but not bough?

Now he can rest knowing his wife’s killer is dead.