TheHellSiteB
I second this. No offense to OP!
I never noticed any “slowing down issues” since any of the recent updates. Running OPNsense with a similiar setup to yours “vlans, plugins, policies, suricata, VPN, routes, gateways, HAProxy, etc”. Again no issues on 8+ sites, including SiteToSite WireGuard VPNs and with large corporate networks. Some systems running perfectly stable and performant since version 20.x (installed) and now running the latest update.
Therefore I highly think your issues are user error / misconfiguration. Yet, I don’t mean to judge but it seems to me that you switching to pfSense will just bring your OPNsense issues with it.
I can’t tell how much experience you have with networking/firewalls in general but a lack of that won’t bring you any further by switching to pfSense.