I’m confident the overlap between seatbelt and mask wearing is >99%

Its not just tamper proof, it’s future proof!

One day they’ll want to manually inspect your cock before getting on a plane.

Well I’m sorry Mr. TSA, my WMD is none of your business.

This is just another variant of “after we turn the lights off, where does the light go?”

This obviously r/thathappened bait.

What was that subreddit for parents who made up shit about what their kids obviously didn’t say?

This goes there.

Alright, I just dipped my balls in a bowl of cordial, so you don’t have to.

My sack didn’t detect any sweetness, but I’m sure if someone sucked on them, then they would.

That’s why I invest in wireless, RFID resistant, anti-flash dick screening devices. Wake up sheeple!

Bethesda, my hand is perfectly tuned for my dick.

That doesn’t mean it’s preferable to a moist orifice.

COX: Drug traffickers love gizmos. They love gadgets. And if they have something like, ooh, the app is hidden behind a calculator, they think that’s amazing, and they want to buy it.

TIL drug traffickers have the mindset of a teenage boy looking for ways to hide porn.

PSA. Send stuff to your local post office and then go pick it up.