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ameliorability

ameliorability@lemmy.world
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Thanks, but what do I even think about 😭 before I used to be obsessed with minor things such as random words and calculus problems, during my relationship I felt as if I had nothing to think about and I was fine with it. Now I have a lot of mental entropy. It’s vacations so plenty of time to figure out, but man do I feel unproductive at times! Still often get reminded of her but now I am able to put her thought to the side at will.

I really like your perspective.

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Thank you. At this point we have 2 ESH, 2 NTA and 2 NAH so idk where we going lol.

She never clearly said that we are together, of course romantic terms implied that it was true. About over a month ago she sent me undeniably spicy pics too, making me believe further that we were together, and blamed her reduced talking on her depression so I thought we were together still.

I stayed there even when she emotionally checked out because I know depression is a tough phase and I made sure to express love and care daily to her. So I never really emotionally detached and didn’t pick up the cues apparently, she does admit the relationship ended about a month ago but that she never said it then, only mentioned it months prior.

Hey thanks for the kind words although I have my fair share of negatives. Perhaps emotional connection is one of those negatives, that her bf is better at? But I knew I couldn’t be with a girl with apparent second choices, even if it wasn’t that way, and told her bf barely sufficient evidence of what was happening because bro code.

I have blocked her but have the bf in my contacts. I just left the conversation with him after letting him know that I existed (and learning that he existed). I may be open to talking to the guy, what should I ask him?

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That first paragraph was a great explanation. Thank you for that perspective there.

It’s kind of weird that first relationships rarely do work out. It’s only the third day now so maybe I should let time do its thing. This will only make me stronger but this does make me afraid of having a relationship in the future! Will not touch any drugs, thanks.

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Damn I have a good number of scars… as I mentioned in another reply I don’t want to be with someone just to deal with this. I want to have genuine connection, not push my issues to someone :) so I wanna wait till it happens not force it.

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Thanks mate. I’m not heartbroken, but the thing is I HAVE NO FEELINGS AT ALL. If anything I feel glad that I found out she had a bf and blocked her, instead of staying with her not knowing about it. In all honesty. I’m just bored and tired that the relationship occupies my mental resources. There’s nothing else to think of when I’m not actively doing something. You’re right, it feels like I lost the future and now I’m not sure what it feels like to be single. I’m carrying on with my studies but when I’m not studying or watching youtube I find myself thinking of the relationship and I have to force myself to do something I can’t just sit and not be bored.

I used to think of calculus and mathematical problems all the time when i was single, I solved all of those complicated problems by now. Now I have nothing to think of at all. I know this doesn’t seem a reply to your post, and thank you for your advice, but the major issue isn’t heartbreak anymore - more so the unproductivity and boredom on my head that keeps lingering.

You say getting under someone else helps… that’s a good idea, but how can I find solace in myself at the moment? I don’t want to be with someone just because I can’t deal with this myself. Thank you.

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:)

Thanks man. There’s so much left for me to learn. I’m struggling to remember what I’m like as a single person, the thing that comes to mind is the guy sitting late at night doing calculus listening to NCS songs and playing mc during online classes. I’ll have to continue the way I am, but with a considerable amount of mental changes.

At the end we’re just online strangers (unfortunately), so. See you some other time, in some other world. Take care.

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When I found that she’s with a bf I called her out and went to closure, blocking her straight after. Also deleted every trace of her, though it was so hard to lose 1700+ pics I had of her. I’m gaining strength now slowly.

You hit the nail man, I did think a lot about what I was doing! That included thinking of her daily, imagining her, expressing my love frequently and teasing her etc. I shot myself in the foot by being that invested when in all honesty she didn’t reciprocate as much as me.

I’m doing great in college, and I hope I’ll continue my winning streak. I feel like going back to the life I had back when I was single, listening to NCS and playing mc, but I’m afraid I’ll get sucked up into a darker place. I can’t even imagine what I was like when I was single!

Man my dating game, my looks game is on 0 because I paid no attention to it when in a relationship. But I must continue with my work, and hopefully good things will come my way.

Thanks for all the guidance bro, you should remember that you helped me a lot and your words will guide me for a long time. Till next time.

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Thanks, I wanted to take the end of this relationship in the most productive way I could. I’m an introvert and don’t think I’ll be pushing myself to dating eg in dating apps, perhaps I’ll put “love” to the side for now.

Well when she left she said she didn’t feel an emotional connection with me, so that’s my fault I suppose. No idea how to improve that because I’d put plenty of love messages and emotions there! Seemed like it was one-sided vibing for me man, I did fall hard.

Hard for me to be productive and study at the moment, I can’t pick myself back up! Thank you brother. I’m not sure I wanna be in love if it can fk with me this badly 😭

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I used to talk about her body, call her sexy and talk about how attracted I was to her sexual features. It was back and forth too, I had 500+ pics of her like that. That time we had lots of sexual conversation but she started resenting my sexual urges after some time and so I reduced mentioning it or asking her for sexual pics. I’m the AH for asking her for that stuff without confirming she’s comfortable with that talk. I did stop when she said it’s too much, though. And I did some sexual talk when she sent me spicy pics out of the blue e.g. last month, and she got angry at things like “nice thighs” for example or any mention of her bodily features even in a nonsexual tone she’d get angry at me for being sexual all the time

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