ameliorability
Hey thanks for the input.
Does kinda hit hard because it’s been a while since I was single. When I asked her when we “broke up”, she said it’s been a month but never concretely expressed it. I think I let the boundaries be too lose man.
Your boy fell too hard in love lol. I thought she was a cheater but I’ll pass on that then, it was partially my fault too.
It’s interesting though, I posted this twice on reddit and once here, I’ve received 1 ESH, 1 NTA and 1 NAH
When she sent me pics and reciprocated love I never considered it could be as a friend, and I was very shallow for that! I feel hurt but the past days I’ve just focused on what I did wrong, and thinking of it I never considered her cues more than a depression phase. Would have blocked her sooner if I knew she had a bf, but atleast I learnt something from this and just wished her bf the best.
For the future I’ll probably ensure that concrete terms such as gf are used that clearly imply a relationship. Thanks for the advice bro.
Honestly I’d say we had set boundaries and were following them. The problem came so more at the end of the relationship when her sending me pics (even spicy ones) or slightly reciprocating love verbally was seen by me as an indication of being in a relationship still. She claims it changed a month ago but never said it’s over between us concretely, neither did I ask, so that’s on me. Now I just think of what I would have did wrong, but just decided to listen to Astroworld and now I’m feeling like I wanna focus on improving my life instead. It’s fire.
My first love felt special because she was the e-girl people were after, kinda, and she carried me in Minecraft lol. But in hindsight both of us dreamed too far and misled each other into expectations. Your boy was so carried away he thought it’d be for life :(
Gotta say our relationship was a good chunk of emotional abuse too lol, except that we worked on that and slowly overcame problems. Now that I think of it perhaps we should have ended, but understanding how to act on disagreements really helped ngl.
I agree with you, I think love is a beautiful force but your boy does have a delicate heart! So when I fell for it I FELL FOR IT and now it feels hard feeling like a single person, it’s been two years. Good thing is that I feel no hate for her or her bf, bad thing is I’m questioning every decision I made in the relationship amd whether it was right or wrong. I’m also way below average (bottom tier) so it’s gonna be even harder irl man. <3
I used to talk about her body, call her sexy and talk about how attracted I was to her sexual features. It was back and forth too, I had 500+ pics of her like that. That time we had lots of sexual conversation but she started resenting my sexual urges after some time and so I reduced mentioning it or asking her for sexual pics. I’m the AH for asking her for that stuff without confirming she’s comfortable with that talk. I did stop when she said it’s too much, though. And I did some sexual talk when she sent me spicy pics out of the blue e.g. last month, and she got angry at things like “nice thighs” for example or any mention of her bodily features even in a nonsexual tone she’d get angry at me for being sexual all the time
Thanks, I wanted to take the end of this relationship in the most productive way I could. I’m an introvert and don’t think I’ll be pushing myself to dating eg in dating apps, perhaps I’ll put “love” to the side for now.
Well when she left she said she didn’t feel an emotional connection with me, so that’s my fault I suppose. No idea how to improve that because I’d put plenty of love messages and emotions there! Seemed like it was one-sided vibing for me man, I did fall hard.
Hard for me to be productive and study at the moment, I can’t pick myself back up! Thank you brother. I’m not sure I wanna be in love if it can fk with me this badly 😭
When I found that she’s with a bf I called her out and went to closure, blocking her straight after. Also deleted every trace of her, though it was so hard to lose 1700+ pics I had of her. I’m gaining strength now slowly.
You hit the nail man, I did think a lot about what I was doing! That included thinking of her daily, imagining her, expressing my love frequently and teasing her etc. I shot myself in the foot by being that invested when in all honesty she didn’t reciprocate as much as me.
I’m doing great in college, and I hope I’ll continue my winning streak. I feel like going back to the life I had back when I was single, listening to NCS and playing mc, but I’m afraid I’ll get sucked up into a darker place. I can’t even imagine what I was like when I was single!
Man my dating game, my looks game is on 0 because I paid no attention to it when in a relationship. But I must continue with my work, and hopefully good things will come my way.
Thanks for all the guidance bro, you should remember that you helped me a lot and your words will guide me for a long time. Till next time.
:)
Thanks man. There’s so much left for me to learn. I’m struggling to remember what I’m like as a single person, the thing that comes to mind is the guy sitting late at night doing calculus listening to NCS songs and playing mc during online classes. I’ll have to continue the way I am, but with a considerable amount of mental changes.
At the end we’re just online strangers (unfortunately), so. See you some other time, in some other world. Take care.
Thanks mate. I’m not heartbroken, but the thing is I HAVE NO FEELINGS AT ALL. If anything I feel glad that I found out she had a bf and blocked her, instead of staying with her not knowing about it. In all honesty. I’m just bored and tired that the relationship occupies my mental resources. There’s nothing else to think of when I’m not actively doing something. You’re right, it feels like I lost the future and now I’m not sure what it feels like to be single. I’m carrying on with my studies but when I’m not studying or watching youtube I find myself thinking of the relationship and I have to force myself to do something I can’t just sit and not be bored.
I used to think of calculus and mathematical problems all the time when i was single, I solved all of those complicated problems by now. Now I have nothing to think of at all. I know this doesn’t seem a reply to your post, and thank you for your advice, but the major issue isn’t heartbreak anymore - more so the unproductivity and boredom on my head that keeps lingering.
You say getting under someone else helps… that’s a good idea, but how can I find solace in myself at the moment? I don’t want to be with someone just because I can’t deal with this myself. Thank you.
That first paragraph was a great explanation. Thank you for that perspective there.
It’s kind of weird that first relationships rarely do work out. It’s only the third day now so maybe I should let time do its thing. This will only make me stronger but this does make me afraid of having a relationship in the future! Will not touch any drugs, thanks.