That reminds me of the time I took a date to go see “The Hills Have Eyes”. It was a dine-in theater, and I had gotten breadsticks and marinara. We just sat down and started to eat, and the date was going pretty good. If you’ve ever seen that movie, the opening scene is a jump scare right off the bat. I had a mouth full of breadstick and was actively holding the cup full of marinara that I launched directly into her chest because I jumped. Anyways, the date didn’t work out and it was pretty awkward for the rest of the movie.

Look, I’m no guillotine-ologist, but I think if I was going to construct one I would forgo my usual method of measure once and cut 5 to 10 times until I have to go get another board because I’ve destroyed the last one.

I wish there was some version of PBS for Lemmy, like public funds for hosting. I’ll admit I haven’t really thought this through, so there’s probably some problems with my idea.

Obviously this is from the hit 80s sitcom Squiggly Boys where the lovably awkward female recruit befriends a cute baby alien spider, high jinks ensue.

The Chinese claim they invited Revenge bedtime procrastination in 2014. Based on my entire life, I have determined that is a lie. But a 72 hour work week sounds pretty brutal.

Really don’t care what this clown has to say after he publicly fellated Putin for 2 hours on live television.

Speaking of creole, I started making a roux for gumbo yesterday and burned it after prepping the veggies and meat. We are pizza last night. But today I’m doing the slow 4 hours in the oven roux so I don’t mess it up again.

Personally, I would characterize it as mid-century fuckin-rad. 🤘

Wait, why would it become an emergency room curiosity? Ohhhhh, missed that last part. Gourds really are nature’s dildo.

I didn’t realize how prevalent Dollar generals were until I took a road trip through West Virginia. It’s like the only successful franchise in that entire state.