chickendestroy

Lurker ako ng r/PHCreditcards. Last month ko lang naappreciate yung phr4friends into making new connections na hindi sex-driven. Doesn’t mean I don’t go to phr4r though. I hope those subs also migrate. Other than that wala na rin naman akong ibang PH subs na fini-frequent.

Okay since new universe, new personality na rin dapat ako. Kaso I still can’t change myself. Back in Reddit I post a lot about my relationship troubles and I thought kaya ko na tiisin. But please allow me to vent out. I have no support groups. I think my friends hate me din. Literally nowhere to dump my emotional baggage to.

I just hope things will turn out okay. However that may be. I feel really alone. Been mood tracking lately and by the love of god, mas lalo lang naexpose na I always feel down for the last 2 weeks. I’m afraid that I might lose my job if this continues on kasi ang crippling din talaga.

I hope everyone is doing great. I envy you, guys. I wish I can feel genuine happiness again.

It’s futile because I know most kids nowadays just use multiple profiles. At least one family-friendly account and a separate shitposting account.

I just don’t get why you’re suddenly racist just for wanting the casting to stick to the source material character design.

You might be right about most people here could be more technologically-inclined. To begin with, Lemmy’s UI is still confusing. Also I can imagine a lot of people asking “wtf is an instance”, etc. Although this might change especially it gains more traction.

I currently browse using desktop on Firefox (don’t let Chrome win the internet). Hope we will have a good mobile client soon. That being said, aRcH bTw.

                   -`                    <redacted>@<redacted>
                  .o+`                   ----------------
                 `ooo/                   OS: Arch Linux x86_64
                `+oooo:                  Kernel: 6.3.8-arch1-1
               `+oooooo:                 Uptime: 9 hours, 59 mins
               -+oooooo+:                Packages: 1615 (pacman)
             `/:-:++oooo+:               Shell: zsh 5.9
            `/++++/+++++++:              Resolution: 1920x1080, 1920x1080
           `/++++++++++++++:             WM: xmonad
          `/+++ooooooooooooo/`           Theme: Adwaita [GTK2], Arc-Dark [GTK3]
         ./ooosssso++osssssso+`          Icons: Adwaita [GTK2], Papirus-Dark [GTK3]
        .oossssso-````/ossssss+`         Terminal: tmux
       -osssssso.      :ssssssso.        CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 2600 (12) @ 3.400GHz
      :osssssss/        osssso+++.       GPU: AMD ATI Radeon RX 5600 OEM/5600 XT / 5700/5700 XT
     /ossssssss/        +ssssooo/-       GPU: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 SUPER
   `/ossssso+/:-        -:/+osssso+-     Memory: 17859MiB / 32017MiB
  `+sso+:-`                 `.-/+oso:
 `++:.                           `-/+/
 .`                                 `/

Ginawa mo lang ang alam mong tama base sa kaunting alam mo. Sapat man yun o hindi

Tagos na tagos sakin tong sinabi mo na 'to. Recently kasi I’ve been questioning myself baka nga talagang di ko nahandle nang maayos yung relationship. Baka ako talaga yung dahilan why it became chaotic. Pero kung aalisin ko kasi yung acquired knowledge ko ngayon after everything that happened, I think I really just did what I thought was right during those times. I’m slowly coming into terms with it. Kaso the threat of her, committing suicide is becoming a huge roadblock para makapagstart na sana ko magfocus on my own healing. Why is the world so cruel? Antagal ko bago makakuha ng courage to not chase after her tapos biglang may suicide threats naman sa huli. Ang gulo rin kasi she keeps saying na she’s not trying to get me back. Pero at the same time she’s saying na ginagawa nya yun kasi she feels she has no one else already. And that wala naman daw kasing sasagip sa kanya. And that desidido na daw sya. Hirap neto sobra.

Sana cheater nalang jowa ko mas madali pa sanang bumitaw. Hindi kagaya ng ganto na araw araw ako nakakatanggap ng verbal at emotional abuse na parang basahan lang ako tas di ko malaman kung bakit.

New development lang. She’s saying she’s going to commit suicide before blocking me entirely from all her socials. Goes without saying I’m really panicking. What I did is I contacted her close friend. Sabi naman nila pupuntahan daw nila ngayon pero wala pa ko update. I really feel bad. She was indeed the one who broke up with me but the way she spins the story e ako daw yung nang abandon. And the scary part is I think she also believes that imagined scenario. Sobrang fucked up na din talaga. I’m at a loss kasi what if she went through with it? I won’t be able to bear the guilt and baka sumunod nalang din ako bigla.

Did you guys retain your username from Reddit?

Nagdadalawang isip ako whether I should just make a new account with a new username. I still like my username that’s why I wanna keep it. But at the same time some people I know in person already knows my Reddit username so my pseudo-anonymity is somehow “compromised”.

How about you guys, did you use your old usernames? And why?

I finally was set free from an emotionally abusive relationship. She broke up with me and I finally had the courage to not chase after her.

But she’s visibly upset. And I’m afraid of what she’ll do to herself. But at the same time, I wanna start looking after myself and start my healing. But I feel guilty for letting her be. While here I am reconnecting with my friends.

What do I do?