iso
haven’t worked with AP yet, but as a webdev I’m certain it’s original server only. Syncing upvotes between nodes would be an insane datavolume and one hell to properly keep in sync to begin with.
“it’ll probably work out”
If you’re a power user, I’d actually recommend installing Arch Linux. It will take a while, and definitely much longer then just pressing “install” on a fancy UI, but the advantages it brings are priceless.
Generally, you’ll have to build the OS yourself, but you get a manual doing most of the job if you simply follow it, kinda like Lego. Given that you ultimately build it all yourself, you know how things work if anything might break. You also know how to adjust things if you wish to change something. And for everything you want to do, there’s an up-to-date manual in the arch wiki.
On top of that, the distro is running the newest software, which means that almost everything is compatible and runs in the best possible way. It will be tested 2-3 weeks in advance in order to ensure it won’t break your system immediately. But even if it does, guess what, there’s a manual on how to fix your system.
In case you’re overwhelmed at any point, there’s a great community. Not sure if they managed to move to lemmy, but they’re definitely over on reddit.
Good luck :)
yeah, you kinda got one side of it
Even if everyone is perfectly compatible, by going for a triangle you’re also dealing with the dynamic of drastic change to an already existing relationship, which obviously has a stronger bond. Introducing a new person into this dynamic wreaks havoc, since the new person wants to compete, the other two want to spend a lot of time with that new person, overwhelming them, while also sticking to each other at times, essentially third-wheeling the new person.
It never works out. Too many ripples in the pond.
opening an existing mono relationship to become ethically non-monogamous is a very difficult thing
Now to think about, I should probably also put out the warning that triangles are the “extreme” challenge, so to say. Seen it work out once, and only once, and I’ve seen it fail a few dozen of times, including my own attempts at it.
Tringles should reward an irl achievement ngl
That’s poly. There’s many ways on how to deal with these feelings, but acknowledging them and knowing that these aren’t wrong feelings, nor signs of “wanting to cheat” is definitely the first step.
After that, it’s very important to speak about this with your partner, so they too can acknowledge that this is a thing and can understand ehen you talk about such feelings (in order to make sure they don’t think you’re wanting to cheat). Partners sometimes have a hard time dealing with it, been there, it sucks.
Once you’ve built that transparency, there’s many ways to go. Generally, people tend to try out more open ways of relationships, but there is no such thing as “a universal open relationship”, every has to figure things out by themselves, with their partner(s).
As someone who’s poly herself, I can tell you that anything related to relationships has just turned into “hardmode”.
Either you suppress your polyamory and continue staying in a mono relationship. Been there, it didn’t work out for me long-term.
You can try and open the mono relationship up a bit, defining key things you’re (both) allowed to do. This can include flirting, kissing, non-commiting sexual acts (one night stands), non-commited relationships (“dating” but without any commitment, “I might be gone at any time depending on circumstances with my partner”), dating with commitment (having 2 partners at the same time), in which you can also seperate between having a “main partner” and a “side partner”.
Throughout all of this, open, transparent and completely honest communication from everyone involved is mandatory, setting rules and boundaries and accepting them is essential, communicating clearly to new partners where you stand and how those rules are set is paramount.
Love is a strong emotion, it can make you fly over the skies, but it can also pull you into deepest, darkest depths. It’s your responsibility to ensure that the latter is being limited, for you and everyone involved, basically damage control. You will fail often, but that’s just how love is, in mono as well as poly relationships, although such failures hit you harder when in poly relationships.
One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to not be ashamed about this, about being poly, about falling in love with people randomly. It’s the same as with any other thing in the LGBTQ+ space, you can’t decide about it, you just are.
Oh right, and one of my biggest points of advice: never commit to more then 3 partners, ever. The time investment is too high to handle it and you will burn yourself out.
There’s a lot more things I could write, but I guess this is the “poly 101”. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out :)
Als Schweizerin fahre ich immer wieder mal durch ganz Deutschland zu meiner Verlobten raus. Bis jetzt bin ich noch nie pünktlich angekommen. Teilweise kommt man auch gar nicht an, weil der Zug aufgrund zu hoher Verspätungen einfach irgendwo die Fahrt beendet.
Ich frage mich bis heute warum die ICEs in jeder Stadt genau 2 Minuten fürs Aus- und Einsteigen einplanen. Die könnten halt auch einfach hingehn und 5 Minuten draus machen, sodass da bisschen Puffer da ist, oder irgendwo mal ne 15min Pause um da wieder was aufholen zu können.
Was ich auch mega schräg finde ist wie die Netze befahren werden. Beispielsweise gibt es 5 verschiedene Verbindungen von Hamburg nach Basel die unterschiedliche Strecken befahren, aber dann häufig wieder auf einer einzelnen Schiene zusammenkommen (beispielsweise die, die durch den Ruhrpott fahren und an random Bahnhöfen halten, aber dann alle in Münster und Düsseldorf halten). Warum kann man da jetzt nicht eine Fernverkehrs-Verbindung machen mit kleineren Verbindungen dazwischen? Sodass man da einfach hingeht und 1x pro Stunde nen Direktzug von Münster nach Düsseldorf durch zieht und dann eine kürzere Verbindung die einfach zwischen Münster und Düsseldorf pendelt und da die ganzen grösseren Ruhrpottstädte zu verbinden?
Aber ja, obviously, sieht halt aufm Papier nich so schön aus. Da steht dann plötzlich dass man von der einen Kleinstadt in die andere 30min länger braucht und 2x Umsteigen muss.
In der Schweiz funktionierts, in Deutschland hat man da wohl zuviel Angst