kani
I’m sensitive to rejection so both in person and online I try to be agreeable and also find common ground with people. If someone’s stressed out at work and takes it out on me I tend to give them a bit of time to cool down then come and apologise and that seems to go a long way. It may seem silly but I think people refuse to apologise cause they don’t feel they’re in the wrong but I find it calms people down quickly and then I can bring up my viewpoint highlighting that it’s just how I view things and that doesn’t make their view any less legit.
I remember it being very negative in that most posts that you’d see just scrolling through it were complains along the lines of “ADHD is the worst” and “just been fired for the fifth time” and it wasn’t until my husband noted that he had heard it being a terrible sub that I realised the atmosphere was purposely that way. They discouraged self-diagnosis to the extend that seemed unhelpful, even though it could be argued that how can someone seek a diagnosis if they don’t first self-diagnose? And generally seemed to consider ADHD as a curse or a disability, regardless of whether and individual would feel that way. They were openly against neurodivergence as a term:
“We consider the neurodiversity paradigm to be harmful to people with ADHD, both directly in terms of its stated goals and indirectly via constant attempts to silence us for disagreeing with them.”
Yeah it’s not like I’d want people to feel bad for having negative feelings about their ADHD, but it might be more helpful to channel those feelings to a more positive change rather than wallowing in it. Had the sub been named r/ADHDvent I don’t think people would’ve been so annoyed but I’ve heard it was difficult to post anything positive as it would get deleted under the rule of “no toxic positivity”.
ADHD is such a personal thing as well it should be up to the individual to define their feelings on it. Currently I don’t like to consider mine a disability mostly due to feelings of being an imposter and having one therapist suggest it may be more of a trauma related thing, but I think that should be my right to define how I feel about my ADHD and how it affects my life since it’s a question of my experiences. For someone else it will affect them a lot more and they’ll struggle a lot more.
Yeah and in fairness it can be easier to find something to complain about than come up with positive or even neutral topics but I found most interesting conversations to be about small things I didn’t think could be linked to ADHD.
Also that’s true, if it’s all Americans it’s hard to find out what it’s like to get a diagnosis in another country or what meds are being prescribed etc.
This reminds me that my dishwasher is full and I don’t want to empty it. But luckily it’s bedtime.
I can barely count to a hundred without struggling, I keep forgetting what the next number is and repeat the number in my head to keep track of where I am until I remember what comes after 47.
Also just can’t do mental math, I’ve memorised basic calculations rather than understanding them so if it’s something I don’t use a lot I start doubting myself and spend ages breaking it down without being able to keep track of it all.
I’ve heard of dyscalculia being common with ADHD people but my schools never tested for it.
Why not both
Learning a new language. You learn a bit about how languages work, understand other cultures a bit better, usually learn new vocabulary for your native language, understand the relationship between different languages, learn the roots of loan words and generally helps your brain stay healthy, even by only studying the basics.
Which is especially weird considering the recent news regarding private ADHD clinics and whether it’s too easy to get a diagnosis privately in the UK. Similarly I have a diagnosis for ASD from Finland but have had a therapist say she didn’t think I was autistic, so if I can’t then discuss that in a very large and popular subreddit where should I go. It all seems rather silly.
