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kobold

kobold@beehaw.org
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Nope! My company is private after getting bought last year and they are definitely fucking it up with “ai all the things” and “ai makes us more human” and strip mining out our actual work culture and replacing it with an even more soulless grind

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my company’s ceo went from seemingly a down to earth founder of the company who supported queer rights to an exploitatively rich board director who describes his employees as “loyal human capital”

it’s about control and power and wealth and it sucks how good some of them are at seeming ok before they get it

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it is simultaneously overrated yet exactly deserving of all the praise it gets

the way it encourages cooperation with a stranger is staggeringly rare in games and i wish there were more things like it

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i have complicated feelings. on one hand: yes, people deserve to be able to, but also:

how much is this just going to be used by the state to coerce people into killing themselves?

there are so many underlying factors that go into treating mental health beyond just “therapy and medication”, and from what my canadian friends tell me, mental healthcare is about as bad or worse in canada as it is in the usa. it’s not properly covered by standard healthcare from what i have learned, so if you are too poor to get treatment, this will probably be used to just. expunge poor people from existence.

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i use it to run my forums and it’s significantly better than any experience i’ve had with phpbb. i don’t know how much an activitypub plugin would be actually useful for it, given that that’s basically a niche for a niche, but if all you want is a community forum that gets delineated into different categories and has a fairly robust user-driven tagging system, you could do worse for replacing Lemmy imo

the biggest downside is that it’s not very friendly for low-engineering experience admins, especially if you want it to scale outside of a single computer it’s running on (separating the db from the web traffic, for instance)

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my mom would tell me this a lot and did this weekend but this is the first time ive felt like i will not pass properly unscathed any more. but it will pass.

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i will never not simp for shiv silent. easily my favorite way to play. wonderful game.

i like to play what I call A20EZ cuz I’m not the best at the game: play A20 on custom, with sealed draft, vintage and the ending modifiers. it’s very fun to just start with a strong deck and get tons of relics!

it also feels like it teaches me what is actually strong in terms of raw card synergy, which has been very nice for learning how to get better at the game without suffering through being bad at the game as much.

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with how hard tech has rallied against remote work this is 100% aimed at justifying return to office

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Yeah, here to say, as bad as my childhood bullying was, the adults are worse.

They’re the ones who, in the background, were creating the circumstances for this by talking shit about you or instilling within their kids a bloodthirsty competitiveness that only lets them see others as targets.

And in the foreground, letting the kids who instigate the bullying, especially when it gets physical, get away as the victims - by equally enforcing punishment & loudly saying that you’re both at fault, or just punishing the kid being bullied only for fighting back.

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In K-12 in the US? Yeah. I’ve been bullied past that too, but K-12 was the worst of it.

  • I had to leave my kindergarten class due to someone who was acting out. We became good friends in school bc we ended up being into the same nerdy things, but he had bullied me a ton until about 6th grade when it became just joking instead of bullying. He credibly threatened to kill his wife a few couple years ago, whom we both grew up with. I’m still processing this in therapy.
  • I remember once one of the people who hated my guts growing up, I accidentally walked into him because our class was crowding and I mistook how much space I had. He pushed me to the ground and said, “stay away from me, faggot”. I’ve brought this up in therapy more than once.
  • Everyone in my class picked up I was gay before I did. I had to fight it a lot, because when I wasn’t fighting against the bullying from it, it was worse. I even went as far as starting a rumor that the guy I was sleeping with was sexually assaulting me, because he was a giant piece of shit to me & bullied me a lot too and it was socially convenient. He wasn’t really affected because he’s mostly straight and was just using me to get his dick sucked, while I thought I had romantic feelings for him (and didn’t realize they were that). I’m still processing this in therapy.
  • At some point someone started a rumor that I was a pedophile in 10th grade. Being a minor myself, I didn’t understand this, but I think it was a rumor from my work with middle schoolers cub scout group. I haven’t discussed this in therapy.
  • In college, I had my ability to trust people on the basis of religion shattered in a Bible study. I got brought into a group that I thought was good, but as I started developing relationships, we had a session where the leader of the group singled me out during a “share your favorite passages” section and just completely railed into me, saying things that invalidated my choice and trying to put me in my place by arguing against my interpretation of its meaning. I’m agnostic now, even though I have a great relationship with my childhood church. I’m still processing this in therapy, it comes up quite often.

This is all just top of my mind, and there’s a lot more, but hopefully it gets across - being bullied is something that can affect you for your whole life. I’m in my mid 30s now. I’ve been treated for depression, and gone in and out of therapy since I was 20. It’s pretty easy to say being bullied fucked me up a lot.

At least I’m better than I was before starting therapy. That’s all I can really say.

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