I wanted to let you know that your story resonated deeply with me. We had a similar family dynamic in parts (esp. the teaming up by apparent neurotypes), only nobody is officially diagnosed (I’m still waiting for results), which made it even harder to make sense of for a long time. So I feel for you!

During my university years especially, I also struggled heavily with keeping up with household stuff, which made me quite the unpopular flat mate… it’s a huge source of shame for me, and still affects me to this day (though I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better).

Thank you for sharing, even if it is uncomfortable, it made me feel less alone with these experiences - so please don’t feel like you have to apologize :)

Anyone else? Yes.

(Thanks for the reminder! :D)

I feel fantastic right now - in the last week, I have hyper focussed for several days to help a dear friend prepare for a court date (the kind of task that has “important/interesting to me” and “urgent” written all over it), and due to our preparation, it went really well for her. And I am happy, relieved and quite proud of us - while also feeling completely trashed from overtaxing my physical ressources in the process.

Absolutely worth it, though. I will, however, now take a break of several days.

This might sound counter-intuitive but - tell your therapist exactly this.

That you don’t feel heard (ideally, why that is), how you feel about her stance on medication, that you’re tired of therapy and don’t know how to benefit of it right now (maybe coupled with what beneficial would look like to you) and whatever else is in your head in regards to this session.

This may seem confrontational, but it really isn’t (or doesn’t have to be). It is providing crucial information to a professional about where your head is at in regards to the therapeutic process the both of you (ostensibly) want to start together. It will help her understand where you’re coming from and maybe her reaction will help you get a better feel for if you are indeed a good fit, or not.

I wish you good luck!

Anfang 30, in Ostdeutschland geboren, aufgewachsen und weiter dort (wenn auch anderes Bundesland) - und hab mich nie Ostdeutsch gefühlt, bis ich studieren gegangen bin und das erste Mal wirklich intensiv “Westdeutsche” meines Alters getroffen habe. Da musste ich mir dann eingestehen, dass meine Lebensrealität und was ich für “normal” halte, sehr von der DDR-Vergangenheit der mich erziehenden Generationen (Eltern, Großeltern, Lehrer, Erzieher), der Wende und ihren Nachwehen geprägt waren.

Ich empfehle in diesem Zusammenhang das Buch “Nullerjahre” - die Spezifika sind auf vielen Ebenen anders, aber in dem beschriebenen Lebensgefühl der nächsten Generation nach den Wendekindern hab ich mich sehr wiedergefunden.

This week as well as last week, I am still waiting for my diagnostic report to tell me if I have ADHD or not - the sessions were in September. The wait time has been announced, but I am still impatient, which is kinda fitting, I guess… While it is clear to me, my therapist and the diagnostician that I likely have some kind of neurodivergence, it’s not quite clear if ADHD is the ticket. Which also makes sense - if it was super-obvious, somebody would have noticed before my thirties, I hope. I guess I’ll know soon enough.

Either way, I still find the ADHD communities such as this one very, very relatable, so if it’s alright, I’ll just stay on even if I didn’t meet the diagnostic criteria. :)

For me, that was Noodler’s Black Swan in Australian Roses. It looked so cool and full of shading in the swatches I looked at - especially when it got dark, nearly black where it pooled.

Maybe I got another, worse batch of it or something, but for me it’s just a really uniform magenta, even on TR and wet pens. I don’t get what the hype is about, but maybe I was just unlucky.

Funnily, for me, skull and roses sheens red pretty heavily on nearly all papers. Maybe you got a bad batch, as well?

I don’t want to scare you, but seriously, do NOT just try to push through the burnout by yourself “until life lets up” and leave it at that - I tried that, and all that happened was a break-down, and afterwards not being able to work, period, for several months. My life back then was not sustainable for my body, and it told me through burnout as a last measure to get me to stop living like that.

In recovery, I’ve also met people who went farther than me (often medication-assisted) and did themselves literal organ damage - one lady had a nearly complete shut-down of the adrenal glands, another had a series of mini-strokes due to elevated blood pressure… it gets bad.

You say there are only two weeks to go, and I wish you the best to get there in one piece. Do try exercising, avoiding screens for two hours before bed, listen to an audiobook to fall asleep, try lavender tea or something, use all the tips.

But please know that afterwards it will not necessarily be over, the exhaustion may stay or come back easily, and you really, really need to reach out to a professional, your GP or psychiatrist and look into treatment options, not just coping options.

Wish you all the best!

When you feel the burnout building up, you really should not try to stick it out “just until this project is done and I can get some rest”…

This happens to me with surprising regularity… HOWEVER - I recently managed to do a chore after 9 months of procrastination, and while it did only take 15 minutes, those minutes sucked so bad that, for a change, I felt really justified in putting it off as long as I did. So it can go either way, I guess!