My main use of Reddit was discussing movies and series that no one in my immediate circle were interested in. So far, I’m not seeing much content in that area (edit: on Lemmy), but maybe we can create the communities ourselves?

Cool! Would you mind explaining to me how I go about it? Sorry, I’m completely new here.

Thank you, that’s really heartwarming. I will definitely join you over there. I struggle a lot with feeling valid, as even transgender friends have told me I don’t sound transgender, which I don’t know if I am, I just don’t feel… Real. Just as gay/lesbian friends have told me there’s no such thing as bisexuals (this was back in the 80s-90s though, some have changed their tune since), but I definitely know where I stand sexuality wise.

Anyway, blabla, thank you, I’ll see you over there!

Thank you very much, that is so kind of you ❤️

Yeah, what gets me is that this is then used as “proof” that there’s something wrong with LGBTQIA+ people.

I mean, straight people will also notice attractive people out and about, even if they’re fully committed. That’s not what makes someone cheat. Same for pan/bi people.

Both my partner and I are into any/all genders and both experience the “bi-cycle”. It does not change my attraction to my partner, as we are bonded so strongly already (and not just because of whatever gender preference we might have had at that time), plus any person can have masc and/or femme (or neither) qualities to their personality and looks anyway.

But we’re both also strongly monogamous. I pour my energy into my partner, regardless of who might catch my eye a bit out in public.

What we personally do is lean into it more, whichever way we’re leaning, but we also both enjoy playing with gender and sexuality expression.

What I mean by that is: use different toys in bed, experiment with clothes for ourselves/each other, lean harder into one type of expression for a while… Just go with the flow really and enjoy it for what it is.

Most importantly: We can be open with each other about it.

Not the person you’re responding to, but I’m also bi and experience the bi-cycle.

For me it used to annoy me because any person likes at least some consistency in their life. Especially when I was younger as so many things seemed uncertain then, that don’t in the same way now. My sexuality also played on my mind more then as I was figuring out who I was, but the bicycle made that difficult, especially because you hear the narrative of bi not being real.

At some point I just figured… This is my consistency. That things change. People change over time anyway, regardless of sexual orientation. So I just lean into it now.

But I understand now that the bicycle won’t cause problems if the person is most attracted to personality or if the partner’s appearance is fluid.

I don’t think it’s as set in stone as that, but I understand where you’re coming from. Even in straight relationships attraction will ebb and flow, I think that’s quite natural for any type of relationship as it progresses and you experience various events in life. Illness, new ideas about looks, aging etc.

I think we need to challenge ourselves a bit on attraction and what it means to us and why. I wouldn’t lose attraction to my partner as they age either or if they got severely ill. No one is static neither in looks nor insights.

I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, it’s my gender/gender roles/gender expression that I get stuck on - but there must be a counselor who deals with that as well. I just worry about any records of it as my country is very anti-transgender at the moment. Perhaps if it were a private one.

Thank you for your input, I definitely have something to ponder there.

That’s very kind of you to say, thank you. I understand it in theory, I’m not sure if I am or not. Their experiences seem different to mine. I would love to make some physical changes to my body, but not enough that I want to deal with any side effects or upkeep, nor do I have the money tbh. I kind of just want to… not be bound by gender.