xophos
I was diagnosed last year with ASD and ADHD. I’m in my 40s. Still in the process of adapting.
I am done going to private social gatherings that I don’t enjoy. They are usually optional and if not I find a good reason why I can’t go. I don’t even need to lie. Usually I just say that I’m under the weather and don’t feel up to meeting a lot of people. Which is all true. Since I occasionally suffer from migraines, most people will assume that as a reason but that’s not my problem. Work meetings are usually dispassionate enough that I can endure them if they are not back to back.
Try to see it the other way round. I was always considered smart but lazy and distracted. I always struggled with myself because I thought I wasn’t living up to my potential because I was lazy and couldn’t mobilize enough willpower to succeed. That always stressed me out even more. Now that I know I am autistic and most people with my profile are not even able to work at all, let alone get a university degree, I can instead be proud of what I achieved. Just take it as an opportunity to be kinder to yourself.
Autistic people have it really hard in Japan, because there are so many hidden social rules and adults who don’t know or can’t follow them are seen as antisocial. Germany is not so bad. Here in northern Germany at least, people (NTs too) mostly accept direct communication and tend to be rather direct themselves. And I rarely had bad experiences when I needed to ask for clarification.
Can we just not? Please?
My diagnosis. The psychologist talked to me for 5 minutes then she said, she was sure I’m autistic and she was reasonably confident that I had ADHD. "But just to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s, let’s just do the rest of the assessment. Seven more hours of tests and talking and a questioning of my mother later, both were confirmed.