I’ve been on HRT for 3 years, and I really have lost all hope that I will ever look like a girl or be gendered correctly or even just be treated with dignity. I’m really ugly and honestly I can tell, people lie and say well it’s your personality that matters. It’s really not that hard to see, and I am wondering if there is a point to spending 120 dollars a month, just for peace of mind.
No. Because you’re not a man and your body undergoing testosterone masculinization would deeply hurt you Sky. You need some serious self care. It is a lot that you’re spending on hormones too and I’d look into ways that you can save costs a bit. Do you have insurance?
You have some cycles in your thinking that bring you back to these feelings of hopelessness and despair. And I think that you feel overwhelmed a lot, like your dysphoria keeps you very on edge. I think you need to make some lifestyle changes and I think you need to work to deconstruct how you think about yourself and your body.
My issue honestly is, I just hate how nothing I was hoping for with HRT was happened, I don’t look like any girl I’ve ever seen. I just feel awful and I’m treated by the public as such
I’m sorry you’ve experienced such awful treatment from other people. And it must be horrible not to have had the changes you feel should have happened. Women and girls have every kind facial shape and features imaginable. We all look different. There are loads of women with the same facial features that agonize you. And beyond that point, you yourself are a woman. You do know a girl who looks like you.
If there’s a specific way you want to look, a specific aesthetic you want to have, there are ways of achieving that. Many women in society have beauty routines involving hair and skin to look a certain way and to practice good hygiene and self care. I myself am one of those women.
It’s just hard knowing that you will always be neglected, everyone you have a crush on you won’t ever date, your always the one people go to but no one is attracted too. You are just reminded of it and it’s sad.
