I’ve been on HRT for 3 years, and I really have lost all hope that I will ever look like a girl or be gendered correctly or even just be treated with dignity. I’m really ugly and honestly I can tell, people lie and say well it’s your personality that matters. It’s really not that hard to see, and I am wondering if there is a point to spending 120 dollars a month, just for peace of mind.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but some girls are just ugly? This isn’t even me making a judgement call on your pic, because even though I don’t think you’re ugly, telling you as much isn’t going to change your mind.
One of the most important things I learned during transition is that I can’t transition into a super model. I am what I am though, and no one can take that from me.
Being on hormones isn’t about being pretty, it’s about whether they’re right for you. Societal beauty standards are never going to provide you that validation, even if you meet that standard for now. Because you will grow old, and you won’t fit into them anymore. Self-love is forever though.
I really hope I say this without sounding rude. People who look pretty or attractive by society’s standards put a lot of effort into their appearance. It’s a lot to maintain your skin, hair, strength, weight, etc.
I’m sure you put effort in, I’m not trying to discount that. I do think there are some things you could be doing to help feminize your appearance however.
- Getting your eyebrows shaped can be a game changer.
- Adding eyeliner or changing your approach to it can help a lot also.
- You have gorgeous hair with great volume. I love how it is now, but sometimes a change in hairstyle helps us change how we see ourselves.
- You may not believe this, but your face shape reads feminine to me. That being said, the effects of HRT may become more prominent if the fat could redistribute again with some weight loss/gain.
The disappointing thing is that most of those things I just mentioned won’t change, or will change very little from HRT. I hope you can find support and encouragement to do what makes you happy. All I mean to say is that you may need to explore some options in addition to things you are already doing. It is not hopeless!
Cis here. Your piece of mind is the one you create. If you want to continue then please do. If you feel like you are wasting money then stop. The choice is yours, always has been, always will be. Do what is best for you. It doesn’t change anything about who you think you are : that’s all that matters.
No. Because you’re not a man and your body undergoing testosterone masculinization would deeply hurt you Sky. You need some serious self care. It is a lot that you’re spending on hormones too and I’d look into ways that you can save costs a bit. Do you have insurance?
You have some cycles in your thinking that bring you back to these feelings of hopelessness and despair. And I think that you feel overwhelmed a lot, like your dysphoria keeps you very on edge. I think you need to make some lifestyle changes and I think you need to work to deconstruct how you think about yourself and your body.
My issue honestly is, I just hate how nothing I was hoping for with HRT was happened, I don’t look like any girl I’ve ever seen. I just feel awful and I’m treated by the public as such
I’m sorry you’ve experienced such awful treatment from other people. And it must be horrible not to have had the changes you feel should have happened. Women and girls have every kind facial shape and features imaginable. We all look different. There are loads of women with the same facial features that agonize you. And beyond that point, you yourself are a woman. You do know a girl who looks like you.
If there’s a specific way you want to look, a specific aesthetic you want to have, there are ways of achieving that. Many women in society have beauty routines involving hair and skin to look a certain way and to practice good hygiene and self care. I myself am one of those women.
It’s just hard knowing that you will always be neglected, everyone you have a crush on you won’t ever date, your always the one people go to but no one is attracted too. You are just reminded of it and it’s sad.
120 dollars a month is very expensive for estrogen :/ Is that what it costs to get it legit in the US?
America is even worse than I thought if so! I pay a third of that for estrogen, finasteride, and progesterone! And that’s in the UK, which is its own special hellhole…
It depends on your insurance iirc.
My insurance has a deductible which means I need to spend $2.5k before they will fully pay for things like meds, or visits. This makes all medication notably expensive. My ADHD meds went from $8.00ish to $210 just because my plan switched. I put aside $2.5k for this purpose though. It fucking sucks and getting a better plan just simply costs 2-3x’s as much.
Definitely not typical for US. 6mg/day of tablets should be under $25/mo even without insurance. Spiro is about $20. GoodRX coupon or Costco membership is all you need.
Source: am in US, and have paid the Costco member price about 2x a year because insurance is very picky about timing of refills.
Yeah that seems normal especially if they don’t have good insurance. I used to work at a pharmacy and I have seen plenty of insanely high drug prices. One time I saw someone getting charged a little over $4,000 for one prescription. That wasn’t estrogen though, I think it was something for cancer if I remember correctly.
