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124 points

Capybaras are classified as fish in Catholic canon law, on the grounds that they spend their lives in water. I’m guessing that a party of conquistadors was on the verge of starvation and got their priest to petition the Vatican to issue a retroactive ruling in their favour.

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68 points

Iirc, both Jewish and Islamic law are explicit that if you can break kosher/eating halal if you have no other options for food. Keeping yourself alive is more important.

Is there not something similar in catholic theology?

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52 points

In Catholic doctrine you can break literally all rules except denouncing the holy spirit, if you confess and repent afterwards.

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12 points

I’m kinda tempted to go to a catholic priest, tell them my full life story and see if they could even come up with penance for me. Like as a gay trans man, I imagine I’d be told to detransition but I’m far enough along that I can’t really go back - I’m not even sure what they’d consider a sin at this point.

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5 points

There are temporal consequences of sin, even after guilt is removed.

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5 points

You can save yourself from all of them, there is no irredeemable sin in any Christ based faith. Only ones that need more explaining, hedging and tithing than others.

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5 points

I broke all 10 commandments and I ate meat during lent. My bad. How many hail Marys do I owe you?

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3 points

What what? Are you saying I can denounce “the holy spirit” and no catholic ever gets to bother me again? Not even theoretically? That is great! Also, woud the church become sinners themselves if they know about one of their members denouncing and they proceed to collect church tax? Nice loophole if ;)

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9 points

You’re always a sinner anyway in catholics.

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5 points

Putting on my miter, crossing my arms stubbornly, and whispering “This is the way” as I shrivel up into an emaciated string bean.

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4 points

If you want to get really technical, in Jewish theory there’s an argument in the Talmud or Mishrad that says that as long as the dish is less than 1/16 or 1/32 (something like that,) of the non halal meat, then it can be considered kosher as well

I’m not Jewish, I just studied religions for a while. Someone who is Jewish can correct me on the proper percentage

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11 points

I am Jewish, but the only way I will correct you is by saying it’s a bunch of centuries-old religious nonsense that has nothing to do with actual nutritional science.

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22 points

I don’t have a source for this but I had been told it was in an attempt to try to convert Venezuelans to Catholicism

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20 points

You don’t like the religion?

Here, we made the big dog a fish, are you happy now?

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4 points

If I were a 16-17th century South American and you turned a big dog into a fish, yeah… I’d probably be willing to believe in your God.

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1 point

*big rat

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2 points

Apparently same was true for lizards, beavers and barnacle geese due to same reasoning.

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3 points

Man did they not known about beans?

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2 points

also hippos are fish.

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