Click the start button. The start button. It’s on the bottom left. Yes, click it. You already clicked it? Don’t click it again! You clicked it again? Okay, click it again. Now on the fly out click control panel. Wait, you clicked the start button again? Okay click it again. You know what? Fuck this shit, I quit.
I remember one call where the customer didn’t know where the Start button was. I told them that it was the button on the lower left-hand corner of the screen. She said that she clicked it and everything went black. Turns out she hit the power button on her monitor.
After you click it, the Start Menu will appear. While the Start Menu is showing, there are some icons all the way to the left, and one of them is called Control Panel. Oh, you pushed the power button and it’s off now? Okay… Push the power button to turn the computer back on. You already did? You pushed it again and it powered off? Turn the computer back on please.
I legit had the following interaction.
Me: Please close all windows you have currently opened. Costumer: Ok, one moment. leaves phone, comes back 2 minutes later. Me: It will take quite long if you are not sitting in front of your computer, can you relocate there? Costumer: I am in front of the computer, i just closed all windows just like you told me. Me: dies internally
I had another client with ADSL, asked them what modem they used: Client: “My modem is colorful and full of lights!”
seriously, tech support is funny shit if it doesn’t happen to you.
I used to work in tech support for a pharmacy chain.
One day I ask the pharmacist to unplug for 10 seconds. He tells me he doesn’t know how to count to 10, just 30. Sometimes he has to count to 60, or 90, or even 180…but he doesn’t. He just counts to 30 until it looks good.
I’m sorry, what?? Are you leaving something out, or was the pharmacist mixing their own samples?
