170 points

Working in tech support be like

permalink
report
reply
103 points

Except they don’t tell you that they did something different and you have to spend half an hour just figuring that out.

permalink
report
parent
reply
105 points

Yeah. You would have had to triangulate your way around to getting the information that is exactly the information that you knew already that it was.


“Sir, I need you to go to the oil that you used and check if it is non-hydrogenated or hydrogenated. It should be printed on the back of the label.”

“What do you mean, I never had this problem before”

“Yes, I’m aware, they have changed the oil constitution recently. I’ll be able to resolve this problem for you, I just need to know if the oil is hydrogenated or not.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything”

“Can you just check the back of the bottle, please? Then I’m sure we’ll be able to get your recipe working again”

“Okay, well I didn’t actually use oil, I used toothpaste because it was expired and I wanted to get rid of it”

“Aha! Okay, I understand sir. I’m glad we were able to get to the bottom of the issue you’re having. So, if you make the recipe with toothpaste, it definitely won’t taste the same or have a good consistency. I think if you switch back to using oil you’ll find that the pancakes still taste the same as they used to”

“But I think I should be able to use toothpaste.”

“Absolutely. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

permalink
report
parent
reply
54 points

Fuck this is painfully on point. Both as someone whose worked in customer service and IT.

permalink
report
parent
reply
40 points

Flashbacks to trying to get the user to admit they unplugged the monitor

permalink
report
parent
reply
37 points

Yeah, Rule 0 of tech support is “users lie.”

Oh, you already rebooted? Okay, well maybe your power cable is loose. Go ahead and shut down for me real quick, so you can unplug that power cable and plug it back in. Great, now that you’ve power cycled your computer, the problem is fixed? Glad I could help.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

I used to work in a 3rd line tech support. Whenever we got escalations from tier 2 I’d read their notes and then start from the beginning. More often than not they would say they have checked something and not found the fault when indeed that was the fault.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points
*

I’m the last stop for my help desk and I legit feel like Dr House some days.

Yeah. Users lie. They also misremember or straight up don’t notice.

To be fair tho, some of L1 can’t write for shit, and some of L1 likes going well beyond the scope of the KB and breaks more stuff in the process. Those guys usually make good L2 since they are proactive and accept feedback, they just lack discretion.

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points
*

Dude, ages ago when I did tech support. A simple question like: “are the lights on your modem on?” was met with a yes. Then after an hour of troubleshooting you find out, in fact, no they weren’t on the entire time and the modem was unplugged. Like, you lied, you never even checked. The real questions then become: why was the modem unplugged? Who unplugged it? What reason does one have for unplugging their modem?

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

@USSEthernet @Murdoc why we used to ask them if one was blinking fast or slow, it made them actually look at the modem

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

And this is exactly why I always humour tech support when they’re asking me which lights exactly are on, which colour, and their blinking patterns. I’ve already made the diagnosis yes the problem is on their end but it’s not like they have a way to know I’m not full of shit.

permalink
report
parent
reply
52 points

Click the start button. The start button. It’s on the bottom left. Yes, click it. You already clicked it? Don’t click it again! You clicked it again? Okay, click it again. Now on the fly out click control panel. Wait, you clicked the start button again? Okay click it again. You know what? Fuck this shit, I quit.

permalink
report
parent
reply
24 points

I remember one call where the customer didn’t know where the Start button was. I told them that it was the button on the lower left-hand corner of the screen. She said that she clicked it and everything went black. Turns out she hit the power button on her monitor.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Haha! It’s so ridiculous that I wouldn’t believe you if I hadn’t encountered similar issues myself.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

After you click it, the Start Menu will appear. While the Start Menu is showing, there are some icons all the way to the left, and one of them is called Control Panel. Oh, you pushed the power button and it’s off now? Okay… Push the power button to turn the computer back on. You already did? You pushed it again and it powered off? Turn the computer back on please.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

“Please unplug your computer and never touch it again.”

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

I legit had the following interaction.

Me: Please close all windows you have currently opened. Costumer: Ok, one moment. leaves phone, comes back 2 minutes later. Me: It will take quite long if you are not sitting in front of your computer, can you relocate there? Costumer: I am in front of the computer, i just closed all windows just like you told me. Me: dies internally

I had another client with ADSL, asked them what modem they used: Client: “My modem is colorful and full of lights!”

seriously, tech support is funny shit if it doesn’t happen to you.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

I used to work in tech support for a pharmacy chain.

One day I ask the pharmacist to unplug for 10 seconds. He tells me he doesn’t know how to count to 10, just 30. Sometimes he has to count to 60, or 90, or even 180…but he doesn’t. He just counts to 30 until it looks good.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

People are crazy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
155 points

I looked for the recipe this comment was made in, and in the comments, the original author of the recipe mentions replacing whole or part of the oil with applesauce which might explain why.

permalink
report
reply
68 points

This might be the most rational comment I’ve ever read on Lemmy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
29 points

Hats off for putting in the effort, thank you.

permalink
report
parent
reply
22 points

Yep. Applesauce can be used as a replacement for oil in cakes and some quick breads. I’ve done it on the rare occasion I’ve been short of cooking oil for a cake. Don’t think I’ve ever swapped it in for all the oil though. It does give a bit different texture and flavor, I find it kind of pleasant myself. And youy will need to probably bake the cake for a bit longer too. YMMV based on your oven.

I personally would not use applesauce to fry in though. But perhaps Flying Squid’s mother should experiment for use and they can report back to us on the results.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

It’s better as a replacement for eggs. I say this as a avid vegan baker, oil is oil. Results may vary, but there is no good substitute. And coconut oil is the best kind, IMHO. Worth the extra couple bucks.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Sardine oil would like a word…

permalink
report
parent
reply

I believe you, but… you were already there, you couldn’t copy/paste, provide a screenshot or a URL?

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

I did not want to accidentally send more comments to the person in the screenshots way by posting a link. It was a recipe for brownies. Here is the comment made by the author:

The recipe with the comments is easy enough to find online though.

permalink
report
parent
reply

OP delivers! Thanks, this totally changes the entire context!

permalink
report
parent
reply
114 points

The other place had something like r’ I didn’t have any eggs’ that was all people giving 1 star reviews to recipes where they substituted Triceratops horn for chicken breast, and it didn’t work well.

permalink
report
reply
55 points

That sub was hilarious! So many weird substitutions and people having no idea what the ingredients do for the final result. I actually learned a lot about cooking from that sub.

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

That is something that often bothers me with many recipes. Often I’m confused why they are using a certain weird ingredient I don’t have access to or when they have a step that I don’t understand its purpose of and the recipe doesn’t explain its reasoning or its reasoning doesn’t make any sense. I then have to improvise without any idea if the changes I’m making will significantly impact the final result.

Only very few online recipes I see explain why they are written the way they are.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

You may want to check out Baker Bettie’s Better Baking Book. It’s a book of base recipes. A base recipe is a very simple recipe which can be modified and added to relatively easily. Base recipes are popular with professional kitchens, because it gets the proportions where they need to be for the baking chemistry to work right. Then you can just add your own fluff on top of it.

What makes the Better Baking Book unique is that it’s written for beginners instead of professional kitchens, so it actually explains why you’re using certain ingredients, how you may be able to substitute those ingredients, and how differing from the recipe will affect the outcome.

permalink
report
parent
reply
83 points

That is seriously how my mother cooked when I was a kid. The dreaded words before dinner were, “this was an experiment.”

And it was always shit like this. “Well, it called for four cups of sugar, but sugar is bad for you, so I substituted potato flour.”

permalink
report
reply
-19 points

OMG HOhOHOhoHOhoHOoh

permalink
report
parent
reply
63 points

I was trying to build a homemade box with wood and nails, except instead of wood I used fucking Uranium, now I have cancer. DIY projects are a scam.

permalink
report
reply
14 points

I wish idiots making stupid substitutions were normally that self-correcting!

permalink
report
parent
reply

Funny

!funny@sh.itjust.works

Create post

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don’t post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

Community stats

  • 6.4K

    Monthly active users

  • 935

    Posts

  • 16K

    Comments