In a microwave oven, an assembly of cyprium, aluminium, and ferrum-impregnated clay is energized in such a way as to excite the aetheric medium, producing a beam of invisible energy which induces sympathetic vibrations in certain particulates in various solid and liquid foods, which results in heating of the food material.
But tell me again how it’s not magic.
Nonsense, my good fellow. It is well known that excitation of the aether produces corpuscles of light. How else could we see the stars in the firmament?
Until today I was certain that even the feeblest Intellect, or at any rate those capable of the written Composition of Speech, would be aware that Ocular Rays emitted by our Eyes, which, upon reflecting from external Matter, return Hermes-like to intelligence our Minds, are responsible for the Faculty of Vision; however, to my unfathomable Sorrow and Disappointment, your Missive of today (which has reached me most indisposed) illustrates that this was but a forlorn Hope.