No I haven’t eaten cereal or processed breakfast foods in decades. Just give me the eggs, bacon, sausage, toast with lots of butter and cheese. Where the fuck is the cheese?

Shelf-stable pastries just never stops being an alarming phrase

Well according to commercials from the 80s when I was a kid that’s part of a balanced breakfast.

Half the bacon is candy and the bread is a cake.

Yeah, plus the cholesterol medication. Bonus points if the mobility chair is within sight.