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45 points

The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.

He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.

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17 points

For the entire duration, he can’t work out what it actually is because it’s such a weird shape and so ridiculously huge that it being a dildo never even crosses his mind

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14 points

And instead of Wilson, it can be called Doc, or Dr Johnson. (Having a name like bad dragon seems a stretch, maybe baddra?)

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7 points

Latex fist.

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