45 points
The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.
He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.
17 points
14 points
7 points
30 points
A tennis ball.
26 points
Magic 8-Ball
This time Wilson can kinda sorta actually talk back.
21 points
An MRE. When supplies dwindle, our protagonist is faced with a tragic choice.
19 points
couch cushion
8 points
This is inexplicably the best answer yet. Everyone else is working so hard to think outside the box that the box is inside-out.
6 points
4 points
