Who hurt you as a child?

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121 points
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My guesses:

  • Intoxication: They’re drunk or high enough that they’re not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
  • Narcissism: They’re very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren’t paying attention to what they’re peeing on; just as they don’t remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren’t the help supposed to do that?
  • Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn’t think they were making it any worse.
  • Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
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32 points

Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.

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80 points

Oh, you’ve got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.

I sit at home, but I don’t sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.

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31 points
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4 points

Exactly, don’t even sit on it to shit. That’s what core muscles are for

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4 points

And this is why god invented the paper ass gasket

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3 points

This is the way.

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18 points

Ahhh you’re trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don’t have to? Why even squat above it when you don’t have to? It’s laziness / efficiency, dear, not… 🤣🤣🙄… fragile masculinity.

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14 points

I work in construction, half the men have dirty asses cause its gay to touch your asshole. I wish I was exaggerating.

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7 points

No it’s both you should see the amount of men who physically recoil when I tell them I sit to pee

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5 points

Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It’s like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?

The only times I won’t are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.

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6 points

You either have an annoying plumbing problem or a massive piss lizard. I guess both is possible too.

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-23 points

Fag.

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7 points

I bet you eat corn the long way.

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2 points

Lmao I looked at your history, you’re a weirdo

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1 point

Legit can’t understand why anyone want to sit down to pee when it can be done standing up.

As for the poor aim issue, get better.

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22 points

there’s also the legendary twin stream

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2 points

You’re forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).

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2 points
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Could be some sort of health condition maybe? Like, they had to have a spray nozzle grafted to their urethra?

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2 points

I sometimes switch mine to mist on accident.

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2 points

I get you, the switch is right there! Such a stupid design.

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