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39 points

On the plus side, the uranium-235 cookies will probably stay warm a lot longer than the others.

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11 points
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but uranium has 20 billion calories per gram

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14 points

Hmm… better just have one, then.

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5 points

+/- 3,000 years

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3 points

And it will sustain you for the rest of your life.

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2 points

Uranium doesn’t usually glow in the dark? If you can see a blue glow, you need to get the heck out of there, or submerge it in a lot of water.

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1 point

Water? We’ve got plenty of that. And it’s heavy, so that should mean it’s extra safe.

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