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20 points
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I’m expecting:

  • dialogue choices to be binary.
  • all NPC’s are voiced by Todd.
  • there’s a mandatory 200GB texture pack update on day one.
  • the Creation Club is integral to the main story.
  • skills are distilled down to STRONG, BENDY, SMART.
  • these three skills have a perk tree which is actually just a perk stick with no branches.
  • AI assesses whether your constructed town is good enough and won’t let you proceed to the next mission unless you’ve gone to Granny Earl’s house for three consecutive IRL Sunday’s and sent photos of your freshly baked Sweet Roll™ to the Bethesda’s Antarctic game studio (you incur all costs associated with postage) in the middle of Winter (May).
  • races outside of Imperial are DLC, as is any skin colour besides white, and any genital options besides “Jewish”.
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12 points

Wtf was that last point

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10 points

Shlongs of Skyrim my man

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10 points

American standards of decency require genital mutilation.

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7 points

Genital options!

Best guess is It’s something about circumcised versus non? Because that’s important

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-2 points

I don’t know man, sounds like something you should be asking Todd at the next shareholder meeting.

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